The Boy in the Flower Shop
by y-nikiforovv
Summary: The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. (desc continued in 1st chapter)
1. Intro (PLEASE READ)

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."

-Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Yamaguchi Tadashi is one of these beautiful people, and Tsukishima never would have expected to meet someone like him who fit this exact description in a flower shop on Mother's Day when he forgot to get his mother a present.

 **A/N: My friend suggested I write a Tsukkiyama flower shop au, and it was gonna be a short thing, but instead it evolved into this. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a review bc I love hearing feedback from people! Just a note before you start though, just in case you have any sort of triggers because I don't want anyone reading this to end up hurt, there are mentions of suicide and self harm (though none of the actions are described, all are in the past) and some pretty extreme homophobia as well. Again, I hope you enjoy!**

 **~Niki**


	2. The Boy in the Flower Shop

It was Mother's Day, and Tsukishima had forgotten to get his mom a present. It wasn't like he didn't care about her, she was an okay mother, but he had been busy. The holiday had completely slipped his mind, so when he saw the sign outside the flower shop near his school on his way home, he panicked. He stepped into the small shop, planning on just buying a bouquet of flowers and getting the job done quickly.

"Hello, can I help you with anything in particular?"

Tsukishima looked towards where the voice was coming from, and saw its owner leaning over the counter off to the side of the small area. He was instantly taken aback by how beautiful he was. He had a soft face with very slightly rounded features, and his eyes were the most wonderful shade of brown Tsukishima had ever seen. Dark freckles were scattered across his face, like stars in the night sky, and among them were small smudges of dirt, which wasn't surprising considering he worked at a flower shop. Tsukishima noticed a big ugly scar on the side of his neck, and a tattoo of the word 'resilient' with the i's being semicolons near it. He knew exactly what it meant, and worried briefly, but was quickly distracted by how he had messy brown bangs that framed his face perfectly, with the rest of what seemed to be about chin length hair pulled back into a ponytail so messy it could barely be called a ponytail.

 _Fuck. He's absolutely stunning._

"Hello?" The beautiful boy behind the counter repeated himself, and Tsukishima realized with a jolt that he had been staring.

He felt his face heat up as he replied, "Sorry! I'm looking for a mother's day gift for my mom."

The boy chuckled, "Last minute gift?"

Tsukishima felt his cheeks burn more at his teasing, "Yeah, I've been busy lately and it slipped my mind until now."

"I've been there. What's your mom's favorite color?" the boy moved out from behind the counter as he asked his question, "If you know it that is."

Tsukishima paused for a moment, considering his answer.

"I'm not sure, purple maybe?"

The boy smiled, and Tsukishima could practically see the lightbulb go off over his head.

"I'll be right back!"

Tsukishima watched as he turned around and half walked, over to the main part of the shop, where the aisles of flowers were. He shuffled his feet anxiously as he waited for him to come back.

It felt like an eternity that he stood there shuffling his feet and trying not to stare at the boy who was darting in between aisles of flowers. Finally the boy came back around to the front of the shop, walking quickly past Tsukishima while shielding something with his body.

He ducked behind the counter, and Tsukishima could only wonder what he was doing. It was only a minute or so after he ducked behind the counter that the boy straightened back up, and Tsukishima saw the small pot of flowers he held in his hands.

"Ta-da!"

The boy held the pot proudly, a wide grin on his face.

Tsukishima was speechless, the flowers were _really_ pretty. They were mostly smallish white flowers, which grew together in small clusters. Throughout the small white flowers were slightly larger clusters of purple ones. Peeking out from underneath the white flowers were vines that grew in small clusters and fell over the sides of the pot. The pot itself was a plain ceramic one, but it had a purple ribbon tied around the middle of it, tied in a neat bow, and small white dots around the rim of the pot.

The boy's smile faltered slightly at Tsukishima's silence, "How do you like it?"

Tsukishima managed to make his voice work and say the words he wanted it to, "Wow, that's amazing."

Tsukishima watched as the bright smile returned with full force, "Thanks! I was worried it wasn't gonna be the best since I put it together kind of quickly. The Lantana flowers are kind of bunched up in a few places and we didn't have much of the Alyssum so it looks a bit patchy, and the vines wouldn't sit right. But I'm happy you like it!"

Tsukishima fought back the urge to frown at how casually the boy was putting himself down, and reached into his pocket for his wallet, "So how much do I ow— Shit. I left my wallet at home."

The boy set the flowerpot down on the counter, "I can pay for it if you want, it's only like fifteen dollars. It's not that much out of my paycheck, half my work is on commission anyways and I've gotten lots of them lately."

Tsukishima wasn't entirely thrilled about taking money from an almost complete stranger (no matter how pretty he was), "Are you sure? I don't live very far from here, I can just run home and get it."

"I'm sure," he nodded and handed Tsukishima the pot of flowers, "Here you go!"

Tsukishima took it reluctantly, and as he took it he noticed faint horizontal scars on the boy's wrists, and tore his gaze away, not wanting to be rude. He wouldn't want anyone staring at his scars like that if they were visible, "Thank you, uh…"

He lacked a name, and searched for a nametag on the boy's shirt, but he wasn't wearing one.

"Yamaguchi," Yamaguchi finished his sentence for him, "Yamaguchi Tadashi."

Tsukishima smiled, a rare thing for him, "Tsukishima Kei, and I'll stop back here after school tomorrow with the money I owe you."

"You really don't have to," Yamaguchi assured Tsukishima that he didn't need to come back, but part of his voice almost sounded like he wanted Tsukishima to.

Tsukishima turned around with the flowers, and left the shop with another 'thank you' and a 'goodbye' to Yamaguchi. He held the pot of flowers close to his chest and walked quickly home, almost wanting to keep the beautiful flowers for himself, feeling a giddy smile appear on his face, and he didn't care in the slightest.

He had no idea how much this boy was going to change his life.

* * *

Yamaguchi was standing at the counter when the blonde haired boy walked in. He did what he did with every customer, and he leaned over the counter to greet him.

"Hello, can I help you with anything in particular?"

The boy seemed to be caught off guard by his voice, and he looked over to Yamaguchi. There wasn't anything incredibly remarkable about his appearance, besides the fact that he was hot as hell, but there wasn't anything specific that made him look that way. It was just an overall thing, the way he held himself, his height, his blonde hair that was slightly messy and looked like it needed a haircut a few months ago. He felt the boy's eyes scanning him, studying his face. The boy was probably staring at the scar on his neck. The tattoo too. Everybody stared, but this boy's eyes lingered longer. Yamaguchi was growing nervous, and he wanted desperately to reach up and cover the scar with his hand, but that would only draw attention to it if he hadn't noticed.

"Hello?" Yamaguchi spoke again, trying to catch his attention.

Again he seemed startled by the sound of Yamaguchi's voice, and his eyes stopped moving around. As he replied, Yamaguchi noticed that the boy's cheeks were beginning to flood with pinkish color, "Sorry! I'm looking for a mother's day gift for my mom."

Yamaguchi stepped out from behind the counter and jogged into the aisles of the shop, exclaiming that he knew exactly what to do. He really didn't know exactly what to do, he was just flustered because there was a really cute boy in the shop, and sure there had been cute boys before, but for whatever reason he felt drawn to this specific cute boy, and he needed to get away as best he could in the small space and have a moment to think.

He scanned the aisles, grabbing a pot as he walked, and cleared out a small space on the back aisle table to work. He set the pot down, and grabbed the bag of dirt from underneath the table. He filled the pot a little over halfway with dirt, and packed it gently. He turned around, and grabbed a few small plastic pots with greenish vines in them from the table behind him. Settling into the familiar task, this was a really common type of arrangement, he had done it many times, he allowed his mind to relax.

He pulled the vines from their pots, and loosened the dirt around the roots near the bottom with his hands before placing them on the edges of the pots, so the vines dangled over the side of it. Satisfied with the placement, he poured more dirt into the pot up to where the vines began and leveled the surface gently with his hand.

Yamaguchi scanned the tables for purple flowers, looking for a specific type. His gaze landed on the end of the table nearest to him where a flat of purple Lantanas sat, and he moved quickly over to it, grabbing a few small pots of it. Then he saw the Alyssum that was right next to it, and grabbed some of that too, already forming an idea in his head on how he would place them in the small pot.

He moved back over to the pot where the vines were, and one by one took the plants out of their pots, shook off some of the excess dirt, and placed them in the pot. He poured in the dirt to fill in the cracks, and smoothed it out around the flowers. It still felt like _something_ was missing though.

He couldn't do anything with the flowers, but he could do something to the pot. Yamaguchi jogged back to the counter, shielding the pot from the cute boy's view, and ducked behind it. He dug around in the cupboard that held all his ribbon and a few paint markers that he usually decorated pots with. He found the white marker he was looking for, and quickly and easily created a line of small dots around the edge of the pot. After tossing the marker back, he dug around some more for the purple ribbon he could've sworn was there just yesterday when he was digging around. Finally he found it, cut it at what was about the right length, and tied it neatly around the pot.

Satisfied with his work, he stood up from behind the counter and held up the pot proudly, "Ta-da!"

The boy turned, startled by Yamaguchi's voice yet again, and stared at the pot thoughtfully. His eyes studied the pot like he had studied Yamaguchi's face earlier, and a nagging voice in the back of his head told him that it wasn't good enough. He pushed that voice away, something he had gotten quite good at.

His continued silence made Yamaguchi uneasy, "How do you like it?"

Finally the boy responded, and Yamaguchi relaxed, "Wow, it's amazing."

"Thanks! I was worried it wasn't gonna be the best since I put it together kind of quickly. The Lantana flowers are kind of bunched up in a few places and we didn't have much of the Alyssum so it looks a bit patchy, and the vines wouldn't sit right. But I'm happy you like it!"

The boy didn't respond right away, he seemed like he was processing what Yamaguchi said, and it was then that Yamaguchi realized it was because he had no clue what he was talking about. He tended to start rambling about flowers sometimes, and of course he had to go and do it now. He felt his cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.

The boy didn't comment on it though, and instead reached into his pocket, "So how much do I ow—"

He paused for a moment before he cursed under his breath, "Shit. I left my wallet at home."

Before he could stop himself, Yamaguchi spoke, "I can pay for it if you want, it's only like fifteen dollars. It's not that much out of my paycheck, half my work is on commission anyways and I've gotten lots of them lately."

What was he even saying? It made no sense, even to him.

The boy, who introduced himself as Tsukishima, was reluctant, but eventually agreed, and left with a promise to be back tomorrow with the money to pay Yamaguchi back. Once he was out the door, Yamaguchi buried his face in his hands, a giddy smile forcing itself onto his face, only becoming more persistent the more he pushed it away.

* * *

Tsukishima glanced towards the clock, anxious for practice to end so he could go see Yamaguchi. Just the thought of him brought a smile to his face that he couldn't contain and put butterflies in his stomach. If there was such a thing as love at first sight, this was it. It wasn't just because of his looks, or the flowers (which his mom loved). There was something about him that drew Tsukishima to him. He wanted to learn more about this boy from the flower shop.

He was sent crashing back to reality when he heard the voice of his coach, Ukai, "Tsukishima! Pay attention!"

He turned towards him, "Sorry sir!"

The coach continued speaking after that, but he spaced out again, thinking about the freckles on Yamaguchi's face, and what it would be like to run his fingers over them, tracing from freckle to freckle. Slowly his thoughts shifted from his freckles to his lips, and what it would be like to kiss them and—

"Tsukishima, get your head out of the clouds, come on," Ukai called him out again, interrupting his thoughts, and probably just in time.

Tsukishima felt his cheeks burn, and this time he decided it would be best to pay attention.

"So Tsukishima~"

The team was all changing in the club room, and Tsukishima was about to leave when he heard Nishinoya's teasing voice from behind him.

He sighed and turned around, "Yes?"

Nishinoya wiggled his eyebrows at him, "Did you finally get yourself a girlfriend? You've been spacing out all practice, and you're leaving in an awfully big hurry, you haven't even changed."

Tsukishima felt heat rising to his cheeks, and tried to push it away with sheer force of willpower, "If it will make you shut up and leave me be, sure."

"Haha his face is red!"

Great. Now Tanaka was joining in too. How were these his upperclassmen?

"You were totally right Noya," Tanaka turned to Nishinoya, and Tsukishima left before he could be teased any more by his idiot senpais.

He glared at nothing as he heard Nishinoya and Tanaka cheering through the door.

"Yeah Tsukishima! Get some!"

* * *

Yamaguchi was sitting at the counter with a textbook open in front of him, tapping his pencil on his chin. His eyes were reading the words in it, but his mind was elsewhere. Tsukishima had said he'd stop by after school, and most schools got out three hours ago. Maybe it had slipped his mind? He had seemed sincere when he said he'd be back, so Yamaguchi was hoping that was it.

He was still lost in thought, staring blankly at the textbook when he heard the bell on the door ring as it was opened.

He looked away from the textbook, and leaned over the counter to greet the customer, "Hello, how may I— Oh hey! You said your name was Tsukishima right?"

He quickly switched his dialogue when he recognized Tsukishima, and even though he knew his name he tried making it sound like he didn't quite remember to avoid sounding too desperate.

Tsukishima nodded, and stood a few feet away from the counter, "Yeah, your name is Yamaguchi right?"

Yamaguchi nodded, ecstatic that he remembered his name, "Yep!"

"Sorry I'm running a bit late," Tsukishima walked over to the counter and reached into his bag, Yamaguchi was assuming it was for the money he promised to bring, "My idiot upperclassmen thought I got a girlfriend and were pestering me about it after practice."

So he didn't have a girlfriend, that made things a little more likely for Yamaguchi, and he made sure to remember that, "What sport do you play?"

"Volleyball," Yamaguchi watched as Tsukishima pulled his hand from his bag, and put it in his jacket pocket.

Yamaguchi felt his heart start racing, "Cool! I do too!"

Tsukishima smiled slightly, "What school do you play for? I don't think I've ever seen you at any of our tournaments."

Yamaguchi shuffled his feet and looked down at the counter where his hands rested, "I don't play on a team right now. I was gonna go to Karasuno so I could play for them, but I relapsed really badly the night before school started and my dad pulled me out of school once I got out of the hospital. He's been homeschooling me for the past year."

He looked back up at Tsukishima, "But I talked to my dad and he said he'd be okay with me going to school for my second year since I've been completely clean since then, so we talked to the school and if I can pass the final exams I can go there for second year and play on a team again!"

Tsukishima didn't respond right away, and Yamaguchi realized that he way overshared. He was way too casual about mentioning that he had tried killing himself, he knew he shouldn't have mentioned it. But then again, at the same time, he was better now, and it was in the past, so where was the harm in mentioning it?

"Ahh sorry!" he apologized before Tsukishima could even respond, "I know that's kind of awkward, just tossing that kind of thing out there."

Tsukishima shook his head, "No, no, it's fine. I was just kind of surprised, because we would've gone to school together, I go to Karasuno, and I play volleyball for them."

Yamaguchi's heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. Then he was mentally kicking himself for not recognizing Tsukishima's name, he was the crazy-good blocker from Karasuno who had helped them win the tournament. He had gone toe-to-toe with Ushijima Wakatoshi and Tendou Satori, and beat them both. He would have played volleyball with Tsukishima, had it not been for his issues, "Really? That's awesome! What was it like, winning the tournament and stuff?"

He watched as Tsukishima's face lit up, which from what Yamaguchi could tell didn't happen often, "It was amazing. Especially the match against Shiratorizawa. Being up against Ushijima, face to face, meeting his eyes as he was about to spike. Watching his face as I finally blocked his hit was amazing, he was so surprised. After all, most of the other team didn't really see me as a threat, one of them even called me 'normal guy' constantly, just because I don't do the crazy guess blocking that he does. So when that ball went flying back to their side they were shocked. Destroyed my hand though, look."

Tsukishima held out his right hand to Yamaguchi, and he leaned over and down slightly to get a closer look. It didn't take any time to notice what was wrong. Tsukishima's ring finger and pinky finger were both slightly crooked, as if they had been broken and didn't quite heal right.

"Wow," Yamaguchi looked back up at Tsukishima, "So a spike did that to you?"

Tsukishima nodded, "Yeah, and it wasn't even at full power. At full power he can spike it to the ground and send it flying up into the stands."

Yamaguchi wondered if he could ever get that good, and he shivered at the thought of playing against people like that, "That's scary, how did you manage to make yourself get in front of the ball to block it?"

Tsukishima shrugged, "I needed to win, and if it meant taking a shot to the face and getting a concussion, or breaking my hand, I would do it."

"We should play together sometime," Yamaguchi made the suggestion before even thinking, and realized he may have overstepped. This may have just been polite small talk to Tsukishima, and they would never talk again.

To his relief, Tsukishima smiled, "Yeah, we should. Do you need help studying for your exam?"

Yamaguchi nodded instantly, "I do, none of this stuff makes sense."

Yamaguchi moved over a bit to make room for Tsukishima behind the counter, and he took his spot next to him, dropping his bag on the ground.

"So what do you need help with?" Tsukishima looked at the textbook as he leaned over and rested his elbows on the counter, accidentally brushing his elbow against Yamaguchi's.

Yamaguchi felt his cheeks heat up at the contact, but tried his best not to show his flusteredness, "Balancing equations mostly. It makes absolutely zero sense to me."

"Well lucky for you it makes sense to me. My teacher explained it really well," Tsukishima reached over with one hand, "Do you have a pencil?"

Yamaguchi nodded and handed him the pencil he had been fiddling with before Tsukishima came into the shop, "Here you go."

As he grabbed the pencil, Tsukishima's fingers brushed against Yamaguchi's, and Yamaguchi felt his face grow even redder.

"Thanks," Tsukishima leaned over a little more, and grabbed the notebook Yamaguchi had sitting next to the textbook.

Half the page was covered in frustrated scribbles and various curse words over his work, and Yamaguchi looked over at Tsukishima anxiously, looking for any hint of emotion on his face. However he showed none, and just started writing on the lines below the scribbles.

"Let's start with an easy one. OH2 + K = O2H4 + 2K," Tsukishima wrote quickly, and Yamaguchi watched as he did, trying to figure out the problem in his head.

This one he was actually able to figure out, "You need to make them equal, so you just put a two in front of the K and the OH2 in the first half, right?"

Tsukishima nodded, and rewrote the equation on the line below with Yamaguchi's changes, "Yeah, so now if you were to actually distribute out the two in the OH2 you would get O2H4, which is the same as the second half. Let's go with… this one."

Tsukishima picked out another problem from the book, and wrote it down on the paper, "3I + Fe3 = I + Fe2 + 2I + Fe."

Yamaguchi had felt confident after the last one, but this one had so many parts to it. His mind couldn't make sense of it.

No matter how hard he thought, Yamaguchi couldn't for the life of him figure out how to answer the problem. He stared at the problem on the paper intensely, biting his lip gently. He became more and more frustrated in a matter of seconds.

"God, I'm stupid."

Yamaguchi brought his head down and rested it on his forearms, which had been resting on the table. He didn't even realize that he was biting into his lip harder.

"You're not stupid," Tsukishima's voice was calm and relaxed, and Yamaguchi found that it made him feel a whole lot better, "It's just a tricky concept. I was lucky enough to have a good teacher and a friend who took good notes."

Yamaguchi lifted his head, and rested his chin on his arms, and it was only as he spoke that he realized he had been biting his lip, "I guess so."

"Sorry if I'm not the best teacher," Tsukishima started tapping the pencil on the counter, "I can see if I can borrow the notes on it from one of my friends, she takes really good notes. They're color coded and everything."

Yamaguchi lifted his head from his arms and smiled, "That would be great, thanks! But for now could you at least show me how to do it? You don't have to explain why anything works or anything, I just wanna see how it's done."

Tsukishima nodded and stopped tapping the pencil on the counter, and started writing on the page, "So you'll wanna start with combining the ones with the same symbols."

* * *

"Hey Hitoka?"

Tsukishima was standing out in a secluded outdoor part of the school during lunch with the volleyball club's manager, tossing a volleyball back and forth. She was one of the few people he considered a friend, and though they hadn't even known each other for a year Tsukishima was extremely close to her. Her house had become his refuge from when he just couldn't bring himself to be around his mom, which seemed like it was more and more often lately.

Yachi tossed the ball higher than usual as she replied, "Yeah? What is it?"

Tsukishima jumped up to block the shot, "Do you still have your notes on balancing chemical equations? The ones you lent me when I didn't get it."

Yachi received the ball as it fell back down from Tsukishima's block, "Yeah I do, why?"

Tsukishima set the ball as it sailed towards him, "I have a friend who's going to try and pass the final exams so they can go here second year. They were gonna come for this year but their parents pulled them out for some personal reasons."

"Damn, that sucks," Yachi jumped up and spiked the ball as best she could with her limited experience, "But I can totally lend you the notes. They're at home though, so I'll get them to you tomorrow morning."

Tsukishima crouched down to receive the spike more easily, "Thanks a bunch."

The bell rang as the ball was flying back towards Yachi, so instead of receiving it she grabbed it with both hands and tossed it over to Tsukishima, "It's your turn to keep the ball."

Tsukishima caught it as he was turning back to grab his jacket from where it was draped over the side of a table, and tossed it back at Yachi, "I'm pretty sure it's your turn."

In return, Yachi threw the ball back, "Nope, it's your turn."

He grinned and threw it back to her, "No, I think it's your turn."

Yachi rolled her eyes with a smile, so Tsukishima knew she wasn't actually annoyed, "Alright whatever, let's get to class before we're suspiciously late."

Tsukishima nodded in agreement and began walking towards the doors into the school that were nearest to the secluded area they tossed the volleyball around in, and Yachi followed, the volleyball in her hands.

They walked quickly to their classroom, but didn't run to avoid getting yelled at. They were already going to be marked late anyways, so they might as well try not to get in trouble for running too.

By the time they got to the classroom and walked in, the class was in relative chaos. Students were scattered around in groups with desks pushed together, all talking loudly.

They were confused at first, but Tsukishima glanced at the board, and it said that the teacher was busy, so he was giving them a free study hour. This probably meant that the teacher was exhausted to the point of needing to nap in the staff room, which wasn't an uncommon thing around exam time.

He wasn't going to complain though, he kind of needed the extra study time. His grade in language arts was kind of low (at least by his standards, where a 93 was a low grade). To keep the A in the class that he was almost losing, he would need to get an almost perfect score on the exam.

Tsukishima headed to the back corner of the classroom with Yachi, where their desks were, and leaned over to pull his textbook out of the bag that was right next to it. Once he had grabbed it along with a notebook he turned around in his seat and set it down on Yachi's desk. Due to the fact that Yachi sat right behind him they would often just share a desk when studying. It was much easier than turning around every time one wanted to say something to the other.

He opened his textbook and flipped to the section about language devices, since that was what he needed most work on. But as he stared at the page he really didn't want to work on it at all, and before he knew it his vision was going blurry as he allowed his tired eyes to relax. It didn't take long before Tsukishima's thoughts began drifting to Yamaguchi, and how he'd much rather be studying with him (not that Yachi was a bad study partner).

He had no clue how long he had been spaced out when Yachi's voice pulled him out of his fantasies, "Hey, Earth to Kei."

Tsukishima was still half out of it, so he mumbled exactly what was on his mind at the moment, "Hitoka, I think I'm in love."

He only realized what he had said when Yachi began giggling.

Tsukishima felt his face go red at her laughter, and retaliated quickly, "What's so funny?! I never laugh when you're gushing over Shimizu-senpai!"

Yachi was trying her best to contain her laughter, but failing miserably, "Yeah, but that's such an un-Kei-like thing to say, and it was hilarious!"

He frowned, feeling his face grow even more red, "Yeah well it's true. I saw a guy at the flower shop here and I may be a lot gayer than I originally planned."

Yachi was able to control her giggling finally, and she smiled widely, "Oooo, what does he look like?"

Tsukishima propped up his head with his hand, his elbow resting on the desk as he replied, "Oh my god he's beautiful. His hair is really dark and kinda long, and he wears it pulled back into a really messy ponytail, and both times I've seen him he's had dirt all over his face. His eyes are a really _really_ pretty shade of brown and don't even get me started on his freckles oh my _god,_ and his smile is angelic."

Yachi stifled more laughter as Tsukishima described Yamaguchi, and rested her elbows on the desk as she leaned forward slightly, "Do you even know his name?"

Tsukishima nodded, there was no way he was forgetting that name, "I do in fact. It's Yamaguchi Tadashi."

Yachi was about to respond, but Tsukishima's phone began to ring, and interrupted her. He quickly pulled his phone out from his pocket, and when he saw the contact name he sighed heavily.

"Just a sec Hitoka, I've gotta deal with an idiot," he answered the call and brought the phone up to his ear, "Tetsurou, why the hell are you calling me in the middle of the school day."

On the other line, Kuroo laughed, and Tsukishima could practically see the shit-eating grin he seemed to always wear, "I'm calling you because me and Bo are coming up to Miyagi this weekend, so you wanna play some volleyball?"

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, "It's Bo and I, not me and Bo. And it depends, can I bring a friend along to play with us?"

"Depends, is she cute?" Kuroo mocked him, and again, Tsukishima could picture the shit-eating grin with jokingly raised eyebrows.

Tsukishima scoffed, "Tetsurou. You know firsthand how gay I am."

Kuroo laughed, "I'm still proud of that romantic pen pals line."

"Yeah, well your romantic pen pal idea lasted a whole two weeks after the training camp, so it really wasn't that great," Tsukishima teased his friend, and he could imagine the pout that was surely plastered on his face by now.

"Well at least I wasn't a dick and I broke it off before I got with Kenma!" Kuroo was quick to defend himself, and Tsukishima laughed. The two had briefly had something back during the training camp right before the Spring High tournament, but Kuroo broke it off when Kenma confessed. Tsukishima didn't mind much though, they were really just two lonely guys who didn't mind making out on occasion.

Tsukishima nodded, "True. Anyways, meet you at the park we usually play at on Saturday?"

"Yep, ten AM?"

"Bright and early," Tsukishima responded, and hung up right afterwards before Kuroo could start talking his ear off.

Yachi had been waiting patiently while Tsukishima was on the phone, "What did Kuroo-san want?"

Tsukishima put his phone back in his pocket, "Him and Bo are coming up to Miyagi this weekend and wanted to play some volleyball."

Yachi smiled in response, "That's cool! Who was the friend you were talking about?"

"The friend that I mentioned who's trying the final exams so he can get back into Karasuno for second-year. He's planning on being on the volleyball team so I figured we should get used to playing together. But we should actually study now, since we've got the time."

Yachi nodded in agreement, and they went back to their work silently.

* * *

Tsukishima was walking home from practice the same day that Kuroo had called him, tossing the volleyball him and Yachi had been playing with at lunch in the air. He was on his way to the flower shop to invite Yamaguchi to the park to play volleyball, and was excited to see him again.

What he had said to Yachi earlier about being in love wasn't true, but he felt like it could easily be with time. Yamaguchi was definitely the type of person who Tsukishima felt like he could fall in love with easily. He had a pretty face, and Tsukishima felt like he could talk to him easily. Both times he had had a conversation with him, he had felt completely at ease.

Before he knew it he had reached the small storefront that he had become surprisingly familiar with over the past two days, and he pushed the door open.

The bell on the door rang, and Yamaguchi turned around from where he was standing near the back of the shop.

A smile lit up his face when he realized it was Tsukishima, and he brushed his dirty hands off on his jeans, "Hey Tsukki!"

"Tsukki?" Tsukishima was slightly confused.

Yamaguchi's face went red at Tsukishima's response, and he quickly apologized, "Ah, sorry! I've been trying to think of a good nickname for you and it just slipped out! If you don't like it I won't say it anymore."

Tsukishima shook his head, he felt the opposite of what Yamaguchi thought, and actually loved the thought of a nickname, "No it's fine, I like the name."

The smile returned to Yamaguchi's face almost instantaneously, "Okay Tsukki! Did you get the notes?"

It took a moment for Tsukishima to remember what notes he was talking about, but his face quickly began to heat up when he remembered, "No sorry, my friend says she'll get them to me tomorrow morning at practice, so I might be able to run them over between practice and school."

"Oh, that's okay!" Yamaguchi's smile dimmed slightly, but he didn't seem downtrodden, just slightly calmed down. The smile was still very much there, "I need an opinion on something, just a sec."

Tsukishima watched as he turned back around to the workbench he had been standing at and turned around a few moments later, holding two small pots with flowers in them. One had a lot of bright pinks and yellows, with the odd cluster of small purple flowers poking out in a few places. The other was more toned down, with lighter pink flowers making up the majority of it, but yellow, white, and purple ones were visible in just a few spots.

"Which one do you like better?"

Tsukishima paused to study them for a moment, "What are they for?"

Yamaguchi responded quickly, almost like he had rehearsed this in his head hundreds of times, "A wedding, I'm not sure what would go better with what they're planning for the rest of the decorations. They're gonna be mostly white and silver, if that helps at all."

"Hmmm," Tsukishima shifted the volleyball he was holding to his other hand as he thought, "I'm guessing it's gonna be a summer wedding?"

Yamaguchi nodded, "Yeah, June."

"Then go with the brighter colored one. The lighter colors would work better for spring, at least in my opinion."

Yamaguchi grinned again, and set the flowers back on the workbench, "That's what I was thinking too, but I wanted a second opinion. Thanks!"

Tsukishima shifted his weight from one foot to the other nervously. He was just asking Yamaguchi to come play volleyball, and maybe get some lunch afterwards. It wasn't that big of a deal, right?

"Hey Yamaguchi?"

At the sound of his name, Yamaguchi turned back around to face Tsukishima, "Yeah? What is it?"

"I, uh…" Tsukishima couldn't help but stutter, and it irritated him slightly. He braced himself mentally and continued speaking, "I have some friends coming up from Tokyo to play volleyball with me this weekend, and we have an odd number of people, and I was wondering if you wanted to come play with us. We can get some lunch afterwards too."

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Yamaguchi's voice was mostly curious, but Tsukishima almost thought he heard a hint of hopefulness in it as well.

Surprisingly, Tsukishima was calm now, despite the suffocating anxiety he had felt moments before, "If you want me to be, I am. Otherwise I'm just a friend asking a friend to come play some volleyball because we're short a guy and get some food afterwards."

Yamaguchi smiled, and Tsukishima felt his heart melting, "Well then it's a date. What time?"

Tsukishima hoped he was keeping his external emotions contained, but he couldn't know for sure because of the mess that was his brain at the moment. He did his best to keep his voice calm as he replied, "Saturday, I'll stop by here at like 9:50. We're planning on playing in the park kind of near my high school."

Yamaguchi's smile widened, "Okay! Sounds fun, but while you're here, I could use some help with some studying again, if you don't mind."

* * *

It was Saturday morning, a little after 9:40, and Tsukishima was running out of his house, slinging his practice bag over his shoulder. He slammed the door shut behind him quickly in order to avoid his mom's relentless questioning. He was going on a date with Yamaguchi today. He kind of felt like he might have been moving too quickly by asking Yamaguchi out, but at the same time wasn't that what dating was for? To get to know someone better. Plus, he didn't get a bad gut feeling from Yamaguchi (aside from the butterflies), and he seemed like a really good person.

He slowed down to a jog as he reached the end of his driveway, not wanting to waste all his energy before he even got to the park. He pulled his earbuds out of his pocket and unwound them quickly from his phone. He put one in his ear with one hand, and began scrolling through his music with the other. He decided on a song and put his phone back in his pocket, starting to hum along unconsciously.

Before he knew it he had reached the small storefront that was the flower shop, and he slowed to a stop before pushing the door open. He looked around the shop, and for the first time ever, he didn't see Yamaguchi somewhere in it. Instead there was a tall man standing at the counter, who Tsukishima assumed was Yamaguchi's dad.

Yamaguchi's dad smiled and waved to Tsukishima as he walked in, "Hello! Can I help you with anything?"

Suddenly feeling very nervous, Tsukishima answered him, "Hi, is Yamaguchi here? We were gonna go to the park so we could play volleyball."

The man smiled, "Oh so you must be the Tsukki who I've heard so much about. I can go get Tadashi for you, he's probably upstairs."

He didn't even give Tsukishima a chance to respond before he turned around and opened a door behind a counter.

Behind it there was a staircase up to what was probably a small apartment or something above the store, and his dad yelled up it, "Tadashi, your friend is here!"

He heard Yamaguchi's voice yell back down the stairs, and he could barely make out what he was saying, though he assumed it was something about him being right down because a few moments later Yamaguchi came running down said stairs with his shoes in one hand, and his bag in the other.

That was the first time that Tsukishima had seen Yamaguchi with his hair down, and he tried to fight the smile that was inevitably forming on his face.

"Sorry for making you wait Tsukki!" Yamaguchi apologized quickly as he was shoving his shoes onto his feet, and knelt down to tie them.

Tsukishima shuffled his feet awkwardly as he stood, "No you're fine, I was a bit early anyways."

Yamaguchi stood up just as quickly as he had knelt down and lunged forward to hug his dad, "I'll see you later dad!"

His dad hugged him back and smiled, "See you later," he then turned to Tsukishima and looked him in the eye, "Get him back home safe, got it?"

Tsukishima swallowed hard and nodded, "I'll make sure to."

Mr. Yamaguchi looked like he was about to say more, but Yamaguchi interrupted him, "Come on dad, we're just playing volleyball, I'll be fine!"

His dad smiled in response to this, "Alright, alright. Have fun you two!"

Tsukishima felt like there was some sort of threatening undertone to this, but before he had time to think about it Yamaguchi was walking out the door, and he followed quickly.

Once they were out of the shop Tsukishima relaxed, but there was still one thing that he was wondering, "Does your dad know this is a date?"

"Huh?" Yamaguchi paused for a second, processing what Tsukishima had said, "Oh, no he doesn't. He's just really protective of me like that. I'm sure he would've been much worse if he did know."

Tsukishima nodded, "Oh, okay. Your dad seems really nice though."

Yamaguchi nodded enthusiastically, "He is, he's really amazing. He really cares, and he's done everything he can to help me out. He was actually the one who suggested having me start basically running the shop myself so I had something to fill my time to help keep myself from getting depressed again."

Tsukishima wondered if his dad had been like that for Akiteru when he was still actually around. His dad had left when he was little, so he didn't really have many memories of the man or what he was like. Tsukishima used to think his dad was the one who was completely at fault, but recently it had started seeming like it was his mom. But he quickly pushed the thoughts away and nodded, but felt awkward since he had nothing more to contribute to the conversation. He resisted the urge to pull his earbuds back out and put them in like he usually did when he was feeling awkward.

Yamaguchi quieted down as well, and the two continued walking in a silence that was somewhere between comfortable and awkward.

* * *

Tsukishima was sitting on a bench in the park next to Yamaguchi, near the volleyball court, and Yamaguchi was putting his hair up (which was a surprisingly complicated task) when he heard an all too familiar, over enthusiastic voice.

"Hey hey hey! Its Tsukishima!"

He sighed and looked up, and sure enough, rounding the corner was Bokuto, with Kuroo following close behind. Kenma and Akaashi turned the corner next, jogging leisurely after their excitable boyfriends.

Tsukishima sighed and waved, "Hello Bokuto, Tetsurou."

Bokuto was about to yell something back, but Yamaguchi's awestruck voice interrupted him, "W-wait a second! You guys are from Nekoma and Fukurodani, right? Y-you're the captains right? Kuroo Tetsurou and Bokuto Koutarou?"

He turned to Tsukishima and half-whispered half-yelled at him, having completely abandoned the task of pulling his hair back, so half of it dangled in his face, "You said you were playing with some friends! Not people from some of the top teams in Japan!"

Tsukishima shrugged, "Well I mean, I'm a person from one of the top teams in Japan, plus they are my friends. You'll be fi—"

Kuroo interrupted Tsukishima and sat down right between the pair, wrapping an arm around each of their necks and pulling them in close, "I hope you guys are ready to have some fun! We can play a whole three-on-three match since Bo and I convinced Kenma and Akaashi to come along!"

Tsukishima sighed and unwrapped Kuroo's arm from around his neck, "Oh joy, we get either Kenma-kun or Akaashi-san on our team though. You guys can't have two setters."

When he heard Tsukishima's demand, Bokuto immediately wrapped his arms around his scrawny boyfriend, "I get to keep Akaashi! You aren't taking him from me!"

Akaashi rested his hands on Bokuto's forearms, which were crossed tightly across his chest, and protested weakly, "Bokuto-san, please don't crush me."

Kenma sighed and put his phone in the bag that Kuroo was carrying, "I guess I'm on their team then."

Kuroo jumped up and shrugged his bag off of his shoulders, grabbing the volleyball he had with him from it, "Come on Tsukishima, get off your ass and lets play!"

Kuroo and Bokuto ran towards the court, Kenma and Akaashi following, Kenma scolding Kuroo for his language. Yamaguchi stood up and began following them, as did Tsukishima, and resumed the task of pulling his hair back and out of his eyes.

"Sorry, I probably should've warned you about Tetsurou and Bokuto," Tsukishima apologized to Yamaguchi as they made their way over slowly, "They're kind of complete spazzes."

Yamaguchi shrugged, "It's fine. It's actually kind of refreshing. I've kind of been shut in a lot for the past year, so I don't really mind."

"Oi, lovebirds!" Kuroo waved from the court, yelling their names, "Get over here!"

Tsukishima felt his cheeks go red as Kuroo teased them, and began jogging over to where the others stood as he yelled at Kuroo, "Shut the hell up Tetsurou!"

* * *

"Hey dad, I'm home!"

Yamaguchi pushed the door to the flower shop open, and greeted his dad, who was standing behind the counter.

His dad put down the book he was reading and smiled, "Hey Tadashi! Did you have fun?"

He smiled and nodded, "Yeah, it was awesome! Apparently Tsukki's friends are the captains of Nekoma and Fukurodani, so that was amazing! The captains brought along their setters too, and spiking with them was really cool. Tsukki's _really good_ too! I saw his playing on tv during the nationals, but there's something different about seeing it up close. There were a few times where Kuroo spiked it and it hit his hand weird when he blocked the shot, and I thought for sure he had completely screwed up his fingers, but he just wrapped them in tape and kept going! I can't _wait_ to play with him when I go back to Karasuno. I really wanna see the freak quick duo too, I wonder what they're like."

His dad waited patiently while Yamaguchi rambled on, and chuckled once he finished, "That sounds great! Now go on upstairs and take a shower, I can smell you from here."

Yamaguchi smiled and laughed, "Okay! I can take back over with the storefront when I'm done."

Without waiting for his dad to respond Yamaguchi pushed the door that led to their apartment open and ran up to the stairs. He jogged past the small bathroom, and instead pushed the door to his room open. He dropped his bag next to his bed and fell forwards, face-first onto his bed. He grabbed one of his millions of pillows and buried his face in it, feeling an uncontrollable grin form on his face.

Playing with Tsukishima had been better than he had imagined it would be. And when they got lunch, Tsukishima gave him his fries. It was simply a coincidence that that was his favorite food, but it still set his heart beating at twice its normal rate when he thought about it.

As cheesy as it sounded, Yamaguchi had felt like something was missing, and with Tsukishima it didn't feel like that anymore. Then again, there was something missing. Yamaguchi hadn't had a friend in years. He wondered if he was moving to quickly, after all he had only known Tsukishima for a week. Wait, were they boyfriends now? Was Tsukishima his boyfriend? He didn't know if that label only applied after a few dates, or if it applied now, or when it did.

He pushed the over complicated thoughts to the back of his head as he stood up and made his way to the bathroom to take a shower.

* * *

He found his answer a few weeks later, near the beginning of summer.

Yamaguchi was sitting in the flower shop with Tsukishima, like he did pretty much every day. They weren't talking, instead there was music playing through a small speaker on the counter, and they were both doing their own thing. Tsukishima was reading a book (he had been assigned a ton of summer reading, and said he liked getting it done early) and Yamaguchi was watering all the flowers in the shop, which was no easy task.

He almost didn't hear the bell at the door ringing as the mailman pushed it open. He quickly put a knot in the hose to stop the water, and jogged towards the door where he stood.

"I have some packages for Takehito Yamaguchi, and a letter for Tadashi Yamaguchi," the mailman handed Yamaguchi a somewhat large box, which had a white envelope sitting on top, addressed to Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi took the box and smiled at the mailman, "Thank you!"

The mailman smiled and started heading out of the shop, "You're welcome! Have a nice day."

Yamaguchi was so giddy that he forgot to respond to the mailman, and instead turned to the counter where Tsukishima sat, grinning excitedly. He set the box down on the floor and took the envelope off the top, "Tsukki, it's my exam results!"

Tsukishima looked up from his book, and a smile formed on his face as he stepped out from behind the counter, "Really? You've gotta open it."

Yamaguchi went to, but it felt like there was something keeping him from doing it. His hands shook, and he stared at the envelope, "What if I didn't pass? I can't open this, you do it!"

Yamaguchi shoved the envelope into Tsukishima's hands, who took it with a bewildered expression on his face.

Tsukishima turned it around and looked at Yamaguchi, "Why do I have to do it? I don't want to be the bearer of bad news!"

He went to shove the envelope back towards Yamaguchi, but Yamaguchi simply refused to take it, "Tsukki just open it!"

Tsukishima still held it out towards Yamaguchi, "No, you open it!"

Yamaguchi shook his head violently, "No, you do it!"

Tsukishima sighed heavily, "Let's open it together then, since we clearly can't come to a conclusion."

Yamaguchi nodded, "Ok yeah, that sounds good."

Tsukishima stepped closer to Yamaguchi and stood at his side. He held the envelope so it was in between them, and Yamaguchi took the other side of it.

"On three," Tsukishima took a deep breath, "One, two, three."

The two tore their own side of the envelope open, and Tsukishima pulled out the folded piece of paper that was inside of it. Yamaguchi grabbed the other side of it like he had with the envelope, and they unfolded it together. Yamaguchi quickly skimmed the paper, ignoring most of it, looking for a number, somewhere, anywhere.

"Holy shit," Yamaguchi's eyes landed on the bottom of the page, "I got a 97."

He turned towards Tsukishima, grinning uncontrollably, "Tsukki, I got a 97!"

Before Yamaguchi could say anything else Tsukishima wrapped one arm around Yamaguchi's waist, and used the other one to bring Yamaguchi's face up to his own. The kiss was brief, but it sent shivers throughout Yamaguchi's whole body. That was the first time he had ever been kissed by someone, and it was everything everybody always said it was.

He felt his cheeks growing red, and as he looked at Tsukishima he could see his face growing red as well. Now that Tsukishima had kissed him, he wanted more. He wanted to feel that feeling he had just felt even more. He ignored the butterflies that filled his stomach, and wrapped his arms around Tsukishima's neck, still holding the letter, bringing their lips together once more.

Yamaguchi knew that right in the middle of the shop probably wasn't the best place for this, but at the same time he didn't care. All that mattered in that moment was the fact that he could feel Tsukishima up against him, their chests pressed together, Tsukishima's hands resting gently on his waist. He could feel Tsukishima's glasses pressing into his face, yet he still wanted to be closer.

His arms had been loosely wrapped around Tsukishima's neck before, but Yamaguchi dropped the paper he was holding, letting it float to the floor, and shifted his hands so his fingers were laced together around the back of Tsukishima's neck. It was then that he felt his chest began to tighten, and realized he had forgotten to breathe.

He pulled back for air, and his gaze met Tsukishima's. He wore an exhilarated grin, much like the one Yamaguchi was sure he was wearing as well. He took deep breaths regaining the oxygen he had lost.

While he did that, his boyfriend (Yamaguchi was sure that was the right word now) smiled even wider, "That was almost better than the test score."

Still breathless, Yamaguchi smiled up at him and responded, "That was definitely better than the test score."

* * *

It had been a few days since the kiss. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima had spent time together, but Yamaguchi got flustered and jumpy whenever Tsukishima got too close. Not that he didn't want to kiss him or something again, it was just the irrational part of his brain telling him stupid stuff, like usual.

Yamaguchi pushed the irrational thoughts away as he stretched up and attempted to reach the hanging baskets above the tables of flowers to water them. He stretched his arm as far as it would go, but he still couldn't reach it. So he put one knee on the table and pushed himself up so he was kneeling in the limited space, balancing precariously on the edge.

Yamaguchi was doing this when he heard the bell on the door ding, and not risking turning himself to see who it was, just yelled out his standard greeting, "I'll be with you in a sec!"

He then felt a pair of hands on his back, and heard a familiar chuckle from behind him, "It's me, don't kill yourself up there."

He tensed up at the contact (more than he already was from trying to balance) and felt his cheeks burn, "Oh hey Tsukki!"

"Hey, sorry I'm a little later than usual. I stayed back with the freak duo dumbasses to work on my blocking some more," Tsukishima kept his hands resting firmly on Yamaguchi's back, keeping him steady.

Yamaguchi ignored the uncomfortable (though somewhat nice) presence of Tsukishima's hands, "No, it's okay. I need to get down now."

He wasn't sure what he was expecting Tsukishima to do, but he certainly wasn't expecting him to grab him underneath his armpits and lift him off the table and back down to the ground.

Once Yamaguchi's feet were back on the ground he turned to face Tsukishima, and his boyfriend rested his hands on his waist and pulled him close. He felt his cheeks grow hotter, and the butterflies that seemed to live in his stomach fluttered to life.

Not quite knowing what to do with his hands, he rested them on Tsukishima's chest kind of awkwardly.

Tsukishima studied his face for a few moments, and frowned slightly, "Are you doing okay? You've been kind of jumpy these past few days. Have you, you know?"

Yamaguchi was surprised that Tsukishima would even consider that being a possibility, but after a moment of thinking he realized that if he were in Tsukishima's shoes he would be worried about that as well. He shook his head violently in response, "No, no I haven't I promise."

Tsukishima seemed to be able to tell that Yamaguchi was being sincere, so he dropped it, "Okay, but you know you can talk to me if you need to."

Yamaguchi nodded in response, "I know, I will."

"Good," Tsukishima responded, and without giving Yamaguchi time to respond to his statement, he leaned forward and kissed Yamaguchi.

The kiss was nothing more than just a peck on the lips, but Yamaguchi still got the feeling he got from the very first kiss. His heart started racing, and when Tsukishima smiled at him he couldn't help but grin.

In response to the quick, almost teasing kiss, Yamaguchi pushed himself up onto his toes and closed the small distance between his face and Tsukishima's.

He allowed his lips to linger there for a few moments, and then pulled back away. Yamaguchi dropped his heels back to the ground and rested his head on Tsukishima's chest, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's torso.

"You're pretty great Tsukki," Yamaguchi spoke softly, "You know that?"

He heard Tsukishima chuckle, and felt him rest his head on top of Yamaguchi's, "You're not so bad yourself."

Yamaguchi allowed himself to relax into Tsukishima's arms, and for the first time in a long time he let himself be held by somebody. He had forgotten how nice it was.

* * *

"Tsukishima-kun, Tsukishima-kun!"

Tsukishima was just about to leave the gym when he heard Hinata yelling after him, and he mentally braced himself for whatever ridiculous request the annoying redhead was going to make. He turned around and sighed, "What do you need Hinata?"

Hinata was holding a volleyball high above his head, and he was bouncing on his toes, "Can you stay behind today? I wanna work on my spikes some more and I always get lots better when I have a blocker to practice getting past!"

"No," Tsukishima began to turn around, "I have plans with someone, and I don't want to be stuck inside this oven of a gym any longer today."

"Ooo, who do you have plans with?" Tsukishima heard the playful, teasing tone in Hinata's voice, "Is it your girlfrieeeeend~?"

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, and began walking out of the gym, but not without throwing a sarcastic remark over his shoulder, "Well at least this'll give you more time to make out with the king, considering you can't seem to keep your hands off him during practice. How many laps did Ukai make you run again?"

"H-hey! I can too keep my hands off K-kageyama-kun! A-and it wasn't that many, only like 14!"

He smiled to himself at the energetic spiker's reaction. Messing with Hinata was always hilarious, but he was thankful he wasn't followed by him. He had somewhere he needed to be.

* * *

Tsukishima pushed the door to the flower shop open, instinctively looking around the unlit shop for Yamaguchi. He shut and locked the door behind him like Yamaguchi had asked, and made his way behind the counter to the door up to Yamaguchi's apartment, and knocked, "Hey Tadashi!"

He didn't really know why he was so nervous. He was excited too, but he was just spending the night because his mom was out of town and wouldn't let him stay on his own. He didn't really get why he couldn't stay at home alone for one night, but she was insistent that Tsukishima find a friend to stay the night with. There was no way in hell he was going to ask one of the freak duo idiots, and Yachi was out of town as well, so that left Yamaguchi.

Tsukishima fidgeted with the strap of his bag as he waited anxiously for an answer, and wondered if he should just walk in if he didn't get one.

Thankfully he didn't have to make that decision, because an answer from Yamaguchi came a few moments later.

"Hey Tsukki! Come on in!"

He smiled at the sound of Yamaguchi's voice, and pushed the door open. This was his first time in Yamaguchi's actual house, not just the flower shop, and he was hit instantly with a wave of heat, and he was surprised with the lack of light as well. He left his shoes at the door and made his way up the stairs. They were much steeper than the stairs at his own house, and he had to slow down to avoid tripping on the slightly higher steps.

Tsukishima reached the top of the stairs fairly quickly, and he was greeted by the sight of Yamaguchi standing in what looked to be the kitchen (it had a stove at least, but it was such a small portion of the house that Tsukishima wasn't sure) in front of the stove. He was wearing a t-shirt, but the sleeves were pushed up over his shoulders, and he was wearing a pair of volleyball shorts. The small apartment was very dimly lit, and there were multiple fans scattered around. The sounds of the world outside were loud due to the open windows, unlike in the shop below.

It was even hotter upstairs, despite the fans and open windows, and Tsukishima wasn't the only one bothered by it, because when Yamaguchi turned around Tsukishima noticed the bright red hue to his cheeks.

"Ah, sorry about the lights," Yamaguchi apologized quickly, "Our air conditioner broke and it's hot enough in here without the lights on. I'll be done cooking in a second, so I can turn off the stove and it'll cool down at least a little."

Tsukishima shook his head slightly, "No, no you're fine. Where do you want me to set my stuff?"

As he replied, Yamaguchi turned back to the stove and turned it off, "You can set it in my room, if you head into the living room it's the door on the right."

Tsukishima began walking over to where Yamaguchi said the door was, "Ok, thanks."

He was kind of surprised at how small the apartment was. It was just the tiny kitchen and living room, and then two equally as small rooms for Yamaguchi and his dad, and a bathroom that was probably tiny. Tsukishima pushed the door open to Yamaguchi's room.

The small space was just as dimly lit as the rest of the house. The first thing Tsukishima's eyes were drawn to was the bed in the corner of the room, which was half covered by sheets and blankets pinned up to form a canopy over the bed. There were Christmas lights strung up all around the room, which Tsukishima was sure looked really pretty when they were actually on. From what he could see, Yamaguchi's bed was messy, with blankets and pillows just tossed onto it, a laptop and a notebook sitting on top of the mess of blankets.

There was a desk in the other corner of the room, and unlike the bed it was cleaned up nicely, a small stack of textbooks sitting in the corner, and everything else put away nicely. Tsukishima quickly shook his thoughts away and set his bag down next to the bed, not wanting to linger to long to avoid the risk of seeming like he was creepy (though Yamaguchi probably wouldn't think that).

He quickly made his way back into the kitchen, where Yamaguchi was setting two bowls down on the tiny table that was kind of halfway between the kitchen and the living room.

"My dad needs to go grocery shopping so we didn't have much, so I just made rice. I couldn't really make much else considering the knives are locked up." Yamaguchi started speaking as Tsukishima sat down, "I hope that's okay with you."

The fact that the knives were kept locked up wasn't all that surprising to Tsukishima, especially considering his past.

Tsukishima nodded, "Yeah, it's fine. Thanks for cooking."

"It was no problem," Yamaguchi responded quickly.

Seeing no need to say anything else, Tsukishima stayed silent, and they ate in a comfortable silence.

* * *

"So," Yamaguchi stood up from the table and stretched his arms, "Do you wanna do anything in particular? Or just hang out? We can watch a movie or something if you want."

The phrase sounded innocent on its own, but in the context that they were alone in the apartment and in a relationship, the intent of Yamaguchi's comment was clear.

Tsukishima followed Yamaguchi's lead and stood up, feeling a smile creep onto his face, "Yeah, I'd be good with a movie, what do you have?"

Yamaguchi made his way over to the cupboard that was by the tv, and opened it up, "How does Jurassic Park sound?"

Tsukishima could tell that the smile on his face was turning into a full blown grin, but he didn't care, "Which one?"

"All four!" Yamaguchi turned around, holding up four dvd cases, which contained all the Jurassic Park movies he mentioned.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Tsukishima grinned at Yamaguchi, an idea forming in his head.

"Jurassic Park marathon?"

"Hell yeah," Tsukishima half-walked half-jogged into the living room as he responded, falling onto the couch heavily. He laid on his side and watched as Yamaguchi put the first movie into the dvd player, smiling to himself.

He watched as his boyfriend made his way back across the room to the couch that Tsukishima was currently stretched out on. Yamaguchi nudged Tsukishima in the side with his knee, "Come on, move it."

Tsukishima only responded with a smirk and a snarky remark, "Eh, don't really feel like it."

Next thing he knew, all the air was being sucked out of his lungs as Yamaguchi sat down heavily on his stomach, "Well if you won't move then I guess I won't make out with you during the third movie."

Tsukishima raised his eyebrows at his boyfriend, "Why wait till the third movie?"

Yamaguchi pulled his legs up onto the couch and before Tsukishima knew it Yamaguchi was kneeling overtop of him with his hands on either side of Tsukishima's head, "It's the most boring one, duh."

"I have to disagree with you on that," Tsukishima lifted his hands and rested them on Yamaguchi's hips, "The fourth one is obviously the most boring."

Yamaguchi stared directly into Tsukishima's eyes as he lowered his face and upper body, sliding his hands forward and resting his elbows on the couch. He pressed his forehead to Tsukishima's, still making direct eye contact, "Five reasons why, go."

"Well for starters it's a pretty horrible sequel," Tsukishima stared directly into Yamaguchi's eyes as well, "The plot was the stereotypical 'twenty years later' trope, and it was lazy with very little character development. The plot was completely ridiculous an—"

Tsukishima was cut off when Yamaguchi leaned forward and closed the space that was barely a space between his face and Tsukishima's. He allowed his lips to linger there for a moment before pulling back just enough so he could talk, "Ok fine, you win, the fourth one is the most boring."

Tsukishima grinned, "Well, we've still got the opening credits."

"Indeed we do," Yamaguchi smiled again before pressing his lips back onto Tsukishima's.

As the melody of the familiar theme song began to play from the television, Tsukishima found himself with his boyfriend kneeling on top of him, lips pressed firmly together, and he could say with complete certainty that he had never been happier.

* * *

Tsukishima was sitting in his room, with his headphones on, like usual, listening to music to drown out the sounds of his mom and older brother fighting. Everything had gone to hell in a handbasket when Akiteru moved back in in early July. He had been staying at Yachi's overnight a lot more than he usually did over the past month or so. He was thankful school was starting again soon.

He wasn't really doing anything in particular when Yamaguchi texted him, just laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. If it weren't for the music pausing when the notification came up he might not have even known that Yamaguchi had texted him.

The instant Tsukishima picked up his phone he was thankful that he had his notifications on. It was a message from Yamaguchi. It said, 'Tsukki I can you come over? Like right now. The door to the shop is unlocked'

It was short and simple, and lacked the variety of unicode text faces that almost always accompanied his messages. That was almost the most worrying part of the message. Tsukishima practically jumped to his feet and grabbed his jacket from where it laid on the floor.

As he pushed the door open he adjusted his headphones on his ears slightly and put one arm into his jacket. Running down the stairs, he put his other arm in. When he reached the bottom he slowed down, hoping he could sneak out past his mom, hoping that she was too busy fighting with Akiteru to notice him.

He was wrong however, and as he was almost out the door his mom's voice. It was mostly muffled by the headphones, but he had gotten good at listening to people through them, "Where are you going Kei? It's past 9:30."

Tsukishima turned to face his mom, "I'm going to Tadashi's."

She frowned at him, "You sure have been spending a lot of time at 'Tadashi's' lately. I've never even met the boy."

"His dad doesn't like him going out much, he worries a lot like that."

"You spend more time with this Tadashi boy more than with me," she was trying to guilt trip him, again.

It was then that Tsukishima said something he was probably going to regret for the rest of his life, "Well he's my boyfriend, so it's my job to be there for him when he needs it. And he needs it. So I'll see you tomorrow."

He walked out without waiting for her to respond, breaking into a run and slamming the door behind him.

Tsukishima pushed open the door to the flower shop without slowing, and ran to the door behind the counter. He knocked a few times and looked around the dark flower shop anxiously.

A few moments later Yamaguchi appeared behind the door, a bright smile plastered on his face, "Tsukki! Come on!"

Tsukishima was confused, but he allowed Yamaguchi to take his hand and pull him up the stairs. He didn't even have a chance to take off his shoes. Yamaguchi pulled him through the house and into his room. The window was wide open, which didn't surprise Tsukishima, since it was actually kind of cold for once, and Yamaguchi's apartment tended to be warm.

"Come on Tsukki, follow me," Yamaguchi climbed out of the window and onto the fire escape as he spoke.

Confused, Tsukishima followed Yamaguchi out the window and up the fire escape onto the roof. His boyfriend stood by the edge, still beaming.

"What is it? Are you okay?"

Tsukishima was worrying more, but also incredibly confused. Yamaguchi had sounded like he wasn't okay in the message, but he seemed perfectly fine now.

"What?" Yamaguchi's smile faltered slightly as he realized, "Oh yeah… I'm super sorry, but look!"

Yamaguchi's smile returned as he turned and pointed to the sky. Tsukishima followed where he pointed and as he looked up he saw a flash of white streaking through the sky. Then another, and another.

He had never seen a meteor shower before, and now he wished he had. It was amazing, standing there on that rooftop with Yamaguchi, watching the sparkling dots flashing across the sky.

"Sorry that I made you worry Tsukki," Yamaguchi spoke quietly, "I just wasn't sure how long the meteor shower was gonna last, and I didn't think about the wording very much."

Tsukishima shook his head slightly and wrapped an arm around Yamaguchi's shoulders, pulling him close to his side, "It's okay, you're okay and that's all I really care about right now."

Tsukishima kissed the top of Yamaguchi's head, and then proceeded to rest his chin on top of it. It was almost enough to forget the doom that was lingering over his head that would make itself present the instant he stepped foot into his house again.

But Tsukishima ignored the feeling, and tried to immerse himself in the moment. He was standing on a rooftop with his boyfriend, watching a meteor shower. If only it wasn't tainted by the anxiety about his mom.

* * *

Tsukishima pushed the door to his house open as quietly as possible, trying to slip in silently. It was past midnight, and he needed to get into the house undetected.

He was just about to close the door behind him when a light upstairs turned on, and he knew in an instant that he was completely screwed.

His mom appeared at the top of the stairs a few moments later, arms folded across her chest, "Get out of my house."

Tsukishima was taken aback, and he couldn't stop the surprised noise from escaping his mouth, "What?"

"I said," his mom repeated herself, only drilling the reality farther into Tsukishima's head, "Get out of my house. You made a choice, and you knew that choice was wrong, so until you change your mind you need to get the hell out of my house."

"It's not a choice," Tsukishima kept his tone as flat and steady as possible despite the fact that he wanted to collapse on the ground sobbing, he wasn't going to let her see him weak, "I've always been gay, it's not like I want to be, but it's how I've always been. It took me a long time and hating myself all through junior high, wanting to die, to come to terms with it. So if you can't do what I did and accept it, then fine, I guess I'll see you never."

Tsukishima turned on his heel before he couldn't hold the tears back any more, and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. It was only as he was halfway around the block that he realized he had no clue where he was going to go, and he had nothing but his phone and his volleyball jacket with him.

There was no way he could go to Yamaguchi's, he didn't want to put any stress on him. Tsukishima's problems were his own to deal with, not Yamaguchi's. He considered calling Yachi, but he didn't want to burden her either.

At this point, Tsukishima was kind of just going wherever his feet took him. He wasn't paying much attention to where that was in particular. Before he knew it, he was outside the 24-hour convenience store where Ukai worked.

Tsukishima stepped inside, wondering if Ukai was still working this late. He found his answer quickly when he heard his coach's voice from the counter, "Tsukishima, what the hell are you doing out so late?"

He turned to Ukai and shoved his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket, "I got kicked out."

Tsukishima's voice came out way softer than he expected, and to his surprise it was extremely shaky.

He watched as Ukai's eyes widened, "What happened?"

As Tsukishima responded, the volume of his voice dropped even lower, "I… I told my mom I was gay."

Ukai was the first person outside of his mom and Yachi he had told about this.

"Damn kid, you need somewhere to stay for tonight?"

Tsukishima was thankful that Ukai hadn't made a big deal out of it, and just responded as he did. It made Tsukishima feel a lot more relaxed, and made accepting the help much easier. He nodded and responded, "...Yeah. Thanks."

* * *

Tsukishima hated that Ukai had insisted on driving him to practice the next day. If he showed up with Ukai, then questions would be asked, and he would have to admit to the team that he got kicked out of his house, and he didn't want to do that.

He followed Ukai into the gym, where most of the team was warming up already. Before he even had a chance to take off his jacket and set it near the wall, Hinata was yelling across the gym as he ran over with a volleyball in his hands, "Tsukishima-kun! Will you block for me and Kageyama-kun? Pleeeeease!"

Tsukishima scowled as the redhead grew closer, he had dealt with enough shit the past 24 hours, he didn't need to deal with this idiot now.

He was about to respond with some sort of insult when Hinata started talking again, "Wait,Tsukishima-kun, why are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday?"

Tsukishima was taken aback by Hinata's comment. He had hoped that nobody would notice, but of course it had to be _Hinata_ who did.

He glared, and snapped at the annoying redhead, "It's called a washing machine you dumbass."

Hinata stepped backwards tentatively, "Whoa, scary Tsukishima-kun. I'll leave you alone, jeez."

Tsukishima glared after Hinata as he walked off, staring daggers into his back.

When he finally looked away, he unzipped his jacket and dropped it to the ground against the wall, and knelt down to put his phone in one of the pockets.

Tsukishima jumped up with surprise when he felt a finger tapping his shoulder.

He relaxed as soon as he realized that it was Yachi, "Hey Hitoka."

She crossed her arms over her chest, "You okay? You didn't just wash your clothes and wear them again, did you? You don't even have your bag with you, or a water bottle. What happened?"

He sighed and resigned himself to telling yet another person, "You're right, I didn't."

Tsukishima lowered his voice so only Yachi could hear, "I got kicked out."

Yachi frowned, "She found out didn't she?"

Tsukishima nodded, "Yeah. She did. I had to stay at Ukai's shop last night."

"You could've called me you know!" Yachi scowled at him and yelled in a whisper.

Sighing, Tsukishima replied, "I didn't want to wake you up. It was like midnight."

"Well," Yachi moved her arms from across her chest and put her hands on her hips, "You're gonna stay at my place for now then. My mom will get the situation, she knows how your mom can get."

Tsukishima was about to thank her, but Ukai called the team to form a circle around him, so he didn't get the chance to.

* * *

"Thanks again Hitoka," Tsukishima found himself thanking Yachi more for this one single thing than he had ever thanked anyone for in his life.

"Kei, it's fine," Yachi unlocked the door to the apartment she shared with her mom, and walked into the house, "Just let me do the talking."

Tsukishima nodded, and played with the zipper of his jacket anxiously as Yachi set her backpack down and yelled, "Hey mom, I'm home!"

Her mom appeared around the corner of the hall a few moments later, "Hey Hitoka, hello Kei."

Tsukishima gave her a small wave with one hand, "Hello Ms Madoka."

Yachi stepped forward to talk to her mom, "Hey mom, is it okay if Kei stays here for a little while? He told his mom and she kicked him out."

Her mom frowned for a moment, seeming to be thinking about something, "Yeah, sure. Do you have any clothes or anything with you?"

Tsukishima shook his head, "No, I don't."

"Hmm," she hummed quietly, definitely thinking about something.

She then turned to Yachi, "Hitoka, could you go next door and ask Mr. Takashi if he has any spare t-shirts that Tsukishima could borrow?"

Tsukishima was slightly surprised that Yachi's mom was going to such lengths to make sure he had what he needed, "That's fine, you don't have to do that! I can just call my brother and ask him to bring me my stuff."

"Are you sure?"

Tsukishima nodded, "Yeah, thank you though Ms. Madoka."

She smiled in return, "It's no problem, you know you're welcome here any time, now go get the futon out and set up on the floor you two, Kei, you should call your brother."

Tsukishima nodded again, and followed Yachi down the hallway to her room, taking his phone out of his pocket. He was just about to dial Akiteru's number when his phone started buzzing, and his brother's name appeared on the screen.

He answered the call, and brought his phone up to his ear, "Hey Nii-san."

"Kei!" His brother's voice was loud, as usual, "I'm so sorry I didn't defend you when mom kicked you out, I was completely passed out. That really pisses me off that she kicked you out, do you have somewhere to stay?"

His brother's incessant worrying was almost funny. That is when Tsukishima wasn't the one he was worrying over, "Yeah, I'm staying at Hitoka's, but could you bring me some of my stuff? I'll text you a list of what I need, since I doubt you'll remember if I just tell you."

He heard his brother chuckle on the other line, and Tsukishima rolled his eyes, "Probably! I'll see you soon little bro."

"Bye Nii-san," Tsukishima hung up first, like usual, because Akiteru would never shut up if he didn't.

He sat down on the edge of Yachi's bed as he opened up his messages, scrolling through the list to find his brother's chat. He found it near the bottom, above only the freak duo dumbasses.

It was then that it hit him how little he talked to his brother. He stared at his phone blanky, lost in thought. His brother had been the one person he had had in his life who would always be there, no matter how annoying, yet he never talked to him. Tsukishima felt kind of guilty for it.

"Kei," Yachi's voice shook him out of his trance, "You okay?"

He looked up from his phone and towards her, "Yeah sorry. I was just trying to figure out what I'll need."

She didn't seem to buy it, but went back to unfolding the futon on the floor, "Okay."

He was in the middle of typing out the short list to Akiteru when she spoke again, "Are you gonna tell anyone?"

Tsukishima shook his head without looking up, "No."

"Not even Tadashi?" Yachi had finished unfolding the futon and now she crawled forward on her knees towards the bed. She rested her arms on the edge of the bed near where Tsukishima was sitting, and laid her head on them.

Tsukishima hit send and put his phone in his pocket, "Definitely not Tadashi. He's got enough to worry about with school starting in a few weeks. I don't want to put even more pressure on him."

"Ah, yeah," Yachi tapped her fingers on the bed mindlessly, "Makes sense. Wasn't school the reason he had that relapse last year."

Tsukishima nodded, "Yeah, it was. At least I'm pretty sure. He's never specifically said so, but he said it was the night before school started so I'm guessing that was the reason. I'm just hoping he doesn't get pissed that I'm treating him like he's fragile when I do eventually tell him."

"Well you're not telling anybody, not just him, so you're not really treating him much differently."

"True," Tsukishima shrugged slightly, "Let's change the subject, this is getting kind of depressing."

Yachi grinned mischievously when Tsukishima said this, and pushed herself up onto the bed, sitting cross legged and facing Tsukishima, "Talk to me about Tadashi~"

He rolled his eyes with a slight grin on his face, "You can just come to the flower shop with me you know. I'm sure it'll be nice for him to know more than one person when he joins the team when school starts."

"Wait a second!" Yachi sat up straight and yelled, "He's joining the team?! As in _our_ volleyball team?!"

"No, he's joining Seijoh's volleyball team," Tsukishima responded with blatant sarcasm, "Of course he's joining our team, did I not tell you that?"

Yachi shook her head, "No, you didn't. Let's go right now! It's my job as manager to welcome him to the team!"

She jumped up off of her bed, but Tsukishima leaned forward and grabbed her by the wrist, "Wait until Akiteru gets here so I can change, Tadashi will notice, and then he'll ask questions."

Yachi quickly sat back down, "Oh yeahh. That would make sense. You wanna play video games while we wait?"

Tsukishima stood up and grinned, "I'm gonna kick your ass at Mario Kart."

Yachi jumped up from the bed yet again, and ran past Tsukishima and through the door, "No you won't!"

He jogged after her, "Oh I think I will!"

* * *

Tsukishima was sitting in the middle of the living room with Yachi, hunched over with a controller in his hands when Akiteru knocked on the door.

He elbowed her without looking over, eyes glued to the TV screen, "Go get the door."

She elbowed him back, " _You_ go get the door."

"It's your house."

"I don't trust you not to unpause it while I'm over there, give me your controller and I'll do it."

"Well how do I know you won't unpause it while you have my controller?" Tsukishima retorted.

As he did so, another knock came at the door along with a voice, "Hey, it's Akiteru, Kei's big brother!"

"Come on in!" Yachi yelled as loud as she could, hoping Akiteru could hear her through the door, "It's unlocked!"

He was able to hear her, because the door opened a moment later, and Akiteru stepped into the house.

"Just a sec Nii-san, I'm kicking Hitoka's ass at Mario Kart," Tsukishima didn't even look over at his brother as he spoke, not wanting to take his eyes off the screen for a single second.

Moments later he dropped the controller on the ground, stood up, and yelled, "Hell yeah! Suck it Hitoka!"

She glared at him and stood up as well, "I'll pass."

Akiteru waved slightly, "Uh, I'm still here."

Yachi quickly turned to him, "Oh, sorry! Kei don't ignore your poor brother."

Tsukishima stepped forward and took the bag that Akiteru was holding, "Thanks Nii-san."

Akiteru smiled, "No problem little bro, I didn't really know what you wanted me to put it in so I just put your stuff in your volleyball bag."

"You're fine, thanks."

Shrugging, Akiteru replied, "It's no problem," he turned to Yachi and started speaking again, "Is your mom home? I wanna thank her for letting Kei stay here."

Yachi nodded, "Yeah, just a sec, I'll go get her."

She jogged down the hall and disappeared into the room where her mom's office was, and returned moments later with her mom following behind her.

Akiteru smiled and waved, "Thank you so much for letting Kei stay here, Ms…"

He trailed off, realizing he didn't know her name.

"Madoka," Yachi's mom finished the sentence for Akiteru, "And it's no problem, I'm happy to help."

"Thank you Ms Madoka, really. I'm happy Kei's out of there."

"So am I."

* * *

For whatever reason, Tsukishima couldn't sleep that night. He had never had problems sleeping when he was at Yachi's, so he didn't really get why he had them now.

Maybe it was the anxiety of school looming over his head. Or maybe it was the fact that he wouldn't be going home the next day like he usually did. Maybe it was the fact that Yamaguchi didn't know that he wasn't living at home anymore.

Whatever the cause was, he wasn't getting any sleep, and it was annoying. It was past three in the morning, and he had to get up at nine for volleyball practice.

Tsukishima had tried everything that usually worked when he couldn't sleep, he counted slowly in his head, he had reached 1,274 before he got bored of it. He tried music, but his earbuds were uncomfortable and his regular headphones wouldn't sit on his head right. He had gone through about a million position changes, and he had even tried just staying perfectly still for what felt like ages, but he just couldn't fall asleep.

It was really getting on his nerves. Finally he couldn't take it anymore, and he stood up, and walked out of the room and into the kitchen. Maybe standing up and walking around for a few minutes would help him. A glass of water would be helpful too.

He made his way over to the cupboards, familiar with the layout of the kitchen, even in the dark, from the many nights he had spent in the house for refuge from the stress of his own.

Even though he was tall, he still had to stretch a little to reach the cups on the top shelf, so when he heard Yachi's mom's voice from behind him he almost dropped it, "Kei, you do realize it's almost 3 in the morning, right?"

Thankfully he managed to catch it the instant before it hit the counter, and he turned to face her, clumsily making up an excuse, "I uh, not really. I just woke up and needed some water."

She crossed her arms, and stood with her hips slightly uneven, all her weight on one leg, "You don't sound like you just woke up to me. What's up?"

He sighed and set the glass down on the counter, "I don't know, I just can't sleep. I think school starting soon is stressing me out, especially because of Tadashi's issues, I really want him to be okay. And I'm scared he's gonna find out I got kicked out of the house and then he's gonna worry about me and not focus on making sure he's okay, and I don't want anyone else to find out either because I knew if anyone on the team knew they'd treat me like I was fragile just because my mom sucks and kicked me out but I'm perfectly fine and I don't want them to baby me because of something I've known for years."

Tsukishima knew that he was rambling, but it was nice to be able to vent his feelings to someone who he knew wasn't going to baby him for it. He felt tears starting to form in his eyes, and for once he didn't push them back, "A-and she didn't even find out about Tadashi being my b-boyfriend by herself, I _told_ her. I-I was the one who ruined my life, I did it. It was m-my fault that I had to f-find out for s-sure what I had k-kind of known for my whole life b-but was denying it because, I-I'm her son, s-she raised me, w-why would she kick me out?"

His voice shook uncontrollably and tears poured down his face, but he kept talking, it was far too late to stop talking now, the words wouldn't stop coming, emotions bottled up for too long flooding out faster than he could catch them and contain them again, "B-but she did, and n-now I have to live with the fact t-that she really d-doesn't love me anymore, a-and now I-I've pretty much o-only got T-Tadashi, a-and even that's n-not gonna last because honestly, i-it's a highschool relationship, b-but I don't w-want it to end, ever, I really r-really love Tadashi, a-and I don't know what to do."

It was surprising that Yachi's mom had been able to listen through all of Tsukishima's rambling, especially after he started crying and his sobs covered up the words half the time.

Tsukishima stared at the ground as he cried, shoulders tensed, and because he was staring at the ground he didn't see Yachi's mom stepping closer, and wrapping her arms around him gently.

He couldn't remember the last time _his_ mom had hugged him like that. It was a little awkward, since Yachi's mom was almost a full foot shorter than him, but it was still nice.

Tsukishima didn't quite know what to do with his arms, but he gingerly brought them up and awkwardly wrapped them around the small woman's shoulders.

Before he knew it, he was sobbing into her shoulder, and she was gently rubbing his back. He wished his mom had bothered to do this for him back in middle school when he was crying up in his room every other night because he couldn't stand the fact that he was gay and he hated it and couldn't seem to fix himself.

Thinking like this only made it worse, and he found himself holding onto her even tighter, and sobbing even harder.

Finally he was able to calm down and get his tears under control, and he stepped back wiping the tears from his face.

"Listen kid," Yachi's mom's voice was comforting, yet firm, "As far as I'm concerned, Hitoka and I are your family for now, okay?"

Tsukishima nodded, "Y-yeah. Thanks Ms Madoka."

She patted his shoulder, "Good, now go to bed, you have practice in the morning."

He nodded again, and walked past her, back to Yachi's room, and this time he actually fell asleep when his head hit the pillow, exhausted from crying.

* * *

He could have sworn he had just fallen asleep when he felt Yachi kick him in the side, "Come on Kei, get up. Practice starts in five minutes, we're gonna be late."

It took a moment of staring up at Yachi with half-lidded eyes, but his brain eventually processed her words, and he sat up in a flash when it did, "What the hell Hitoka, why didn't you wake me up?!"

Tsukishima stood up quickly, tripping over the blanket that had somehow wrapped itself around his ankles. He landed straight on his face, still so tired that he lacked the coordination to put his arms out to catch himself.

Tsukishima heard Yachi stifling laughter as she knelt down next to Tsukishima, "I tried, but you wouldn't get your stupid butt out of bed!"

He pushed himself up into a sitting position, and rubbed his head, "Sorry, sorry, I couldn't sleep last night."

It was then that both of their phones went off at almost the exact same time.

Tsukishima laid back and flipped over on his stomach so he could reach his phone that was next to the pillow, and Yachi stepped over him to get to her bed and her phone.

The notification was an email from Suga, and the subject was lazily labelled as 'practice cancelled'.

He opened the email, and cringed at the lack of punctuation and capitalization in the message.

Reading it was a horrible experience from start to finish. It said:

 _hey guys practice is cancelled today because the gym is too hot_

 _yeah lets go with that_

 _heat stroke and crap_

 _wait daichi says thats a stupid reason_

 _oh well_

 _practice is cancelled anyways_

He looked over to Yachi, who was reading the message as well, and she looked up a moment later. They weren't sure how many times their captains had done this that summer, all because they wanted to make out instead of practice.

Tsukishima was thankful for the timing though, now he didn't have to sprint to practice.

"Well," Tsukishima set his phone back down, "You said you wanted to meet Tadashi right?"

Yachi nodded and tossed her phone back onto her bed, "Yeah."

Tsukishima crawled across the floor to his bag, and pulled a t-shirt out of it, there was no point in changing the shorts he had worn for less than 24 hours. He sat cross legged on the floor, facing the wall, making sure Yachi couldn't see the front of his torso. He changed his shirt as quickly as possible, stuffing the old one back into the bag.

Yachi was standing near the door, grabbing her purse from the hook on the back of the door when Tsukishima stood up, not tripping over a blanket this time.

Yachi saw that he was standing and quickly rushed out of the room, "Come on let's go!"

Tsukishima laughed and followed her, picking his phone up off the ground as he passed it.

* * *

Tsukishima pushed the door to the flower shop open, with Yachi practically bouncing behind him.

Yamaguchi was standing on one of the tables of flowers with the hose in hand with his back towards the door, watering the hanging baskets of flowers. Unable to turn around and see who was at the door (he would lose his balance and fall if he didn't) he just called out to Tsukishima, though he didn't know it was him, "Hello, I'll be right there!"

Yachi hadn't said a single word yet, she was instead gazing around the shop, "Whoa, you said it was really pretty, but dang! I wasn't expecting this!"

Yamaguchi finished watering the plants, and tied a knot in the hose to temporarily stop the water flow, and he jumped down, "Thanks! I'm glad you like them, I've actually grown a lot of these myself!"

He had his eyes closed as he accepted the compliment, like he usually did, along with a grin plastered on his face, which only grew bigger as he opened his eyes and saw it was Tsukishima, "Oh hey Tsukki!"

He ran up to him and gave Tsukishima a quick kiss, and Tsukishima responded to this by simply grabbing onto Yamaguchi's hand, "Hey Tadashi."

Yamaguchi smiled up at Tsukishima, "Wait, why aren't you at practice? Isn't it usually every day from like 10 to 4?

"Our captains apparently think sex is better than practice, so they cancelled," despite what he was saying, Tsukishima's tone of voice was completely flat.

Yamaguchi's expression quickly changed to a shocked one, "Wait what?! What the heck kind of captains are they?!"

Tsukishima laughed, and was about to respond when Yachi cleared her throat, and both looked away from each other and over to her.

"Oh, sorry Hitoka," Tsukishima responded simply, and he stood with Tadashi, still holding onto his hand as Yachi spoke.

"So Tadashi, is it fine for me to call you that? That's all Kei has ever called you so that's all I have to call you," Yachi quickly became sidetracked from the very beginning of her speech.

Yamaguchi nodded, "Yeah you're fine, go on."

She nodded, and clenched her fists at her sides, seeming to be steeling herself to speak, which wasn't surprising considering that she was horrible at speaking to new people, "Okay, so anyways, Kei told me you were planning on joining the volleyball team, so as manager, it's my job to welcome you. So, welcome to the te—"

She was about to continue, but was interrupted by her phone going off, as well as Tsukishima's.

They both quickly pulled their phones out of their pockets, and Tsukishima sighed as he saw an email from Ukai. He opened it up, and read it with Yamaguchi reading over his shoulder.

It was in all caps, and riddled with typos. The email said:

 _SUGAWARA IS WEAR TO GOF PRACTICE IS JOT CANCELLEF NOT THID SIME SO IW EXPECT EVERBOFT TO HAVE THWIR ASSES TO THE FYM BY 10:30 ESPECIALLY YOU TWO, SGUAWARA, DACIHI._

Yamaguchi looked at Tsukishima's phone screen anxiously, "Is that your coach? He seems kind of terrifying."

Tsukishima shook his head, "He's not too horrible, but I guess Hitoka and I have to go."

Yachi apologized profusely to Yamaguchi, "I'm super sorry! I really wish we could've talked, from what Kei has said about you you seem really nice!"

Yamaguchi responded quickly, accepting the apology, "No no, you're fine!"

He then turned to Tsukishima, "But Tsukki talks about me huh?"

Tsukishima went red instantly, "J-just a little bit! Not much!"

Yachi grinned mischievously, her nerves evaporating quickly, and looked at Yamaguchi, "Oh yeah, _all the time._ You should have heard him that first day you met, he was all 'oh Hitoka I think I'm in love!' and 'his smile and freckles are so pretty oh my god Hitoka'."

Yamaguchi laughed, and his face went slightly red, "Really?"

He turned to Tsukishima and teased him further, "So it was love at first sight, how romantic~"

Tsukishima looked away and muttered, his cheeks growing even more red, "Well yeah maybe it was, so what?"

Yachi was about to continue, but yet again, their phones went off, reminding them that they had to actually leave for practice.

The notification was another email from Suga, and it was by far the worst to read. It said:

 _Alright coach I'll make sure to be there! Might not do the best in practice though, I might be a little sore (*~▽~)_

"Why is he so disgusting?" Tsukishima put his phone back in his pocket as soon as he finished reading, wanting to cleanse his eyes of the horrors of the message.

Yachi, who hadn't taken her phone out for fear of what it was (she was waiting to see Tsukishima's reaction before she read it) looked at her, "That bad?"

Tsukishima nodded, looking her straight in the eye, "That bad."

He then turned to Yamaguchi, "Sorry Tadashi, but we've gotta go before our coach kicks our asses."

Yamaguchi smiled at him, "No you're okay!"

"Wait a sec," Yachi interrupted the two, "Do you wanna come to practice Tadashi? I'm sure Ukai wouldn't mind, especially since you'll be on the team in a few weeks anyways."

Yamaguchi's face lit up, "Yeah, that would be awesome!"

Tsukishima smiled, "Really? Nice. We really do have to go though, Ukai's not gonna be happy after what Sugawara and Daichi just pulled."

Yachi nodded, "Yeah, let's go."

"Hold on, I've gotta let my dad know that I'm leaving so he can take over the storefront," Yamaguchi turned and ran behind the counter, and opened the door to the staircase, "Hey dad, I'm heading out! Can you come down and watch the store?"

His dad yelled something back that Tsukishima couldn't quite make out, but Yamaguchi seemed to be able to hear it perfectly, because he shut the door and turned back around, "Let's go, if your coach is really as scary as he sounds I really don't wanna be late."

Tsukishima nodded, and the group headed out of the shop at a light jog, Yamaguchi holding tightly onto Tsukishima's hand.

* * *

Tsukishima hoped to god that they got to the gym before Ukai did.

Sadly, they didn't, but they were most likely safe because Ukai was currently unleashing all of his rage on Sugawara and Daichi.

Tsukishima sighed, and went to pull the door open, and walked into Hinata and Kageyama, who were slipping out of the gym.

"Oh, sorry!" Hinata apologized, "Oh, it's you Tsukishima."

Tsukishima glared, but before he could respond Hinata had noticed Yamaguchi, "Wait who's that? Are you a first year? I've never seen you before, but I thought they didn't practice with us until school started? You're pretty tall for a first year though, wait, all the first years are probably gonna be taller than me!"

Near the end Hinata seemed to not be talking to anyone but himself, and Kageyama punched him in the arm, "Dumbass, nobody wants to hear about your height troubles!"

"Well that's easy for you to say Bakageyama you're tall!" Hinata whined, still blocking the doorway.

Tsukishima glared at the pair and shoved past them before they started fighting physically, which they most likely were going to in a few seconds, pulling Yamaguchi into the gym with him, "You're both dumbasses, shut it."

Yachi followed him and Yamaguchi in, just as Ukai was finishing yelling at Daichi and Suga and sending them off to run laps. Tsukishima stood next to Yachi, with Yamaguchi just slightly behind them.

"Hey Ukai-sensei," Yachi spoke first, surprisingly composed, "I hope you don't mind, but I invited someone who's gonna join the club when school starts to practice today."

Ukai turned around, and Tsukishima could honestly say he was a little scared, he wasn't sure how Yachi was so calm.

"Good idea," Ukai's angered expression had faded, "The more time we spend practicing together the higher chance we have to win nationals again this year. Is this him?"

Ukai looked to Yamaguchi, who suddenly stood up even straighter, "Y-yes sir!"

Tsukishima pushed his glasses back up on his nose, they were slipping down from sweat. It was really hot in the gym, "Y-yeah, this is Tadashi, my boyfriend."

Ukai stuck out his hand for Yamaguchi to shake, "Nice to meet you, what position do you usually play?"

Yamaguchi took it gingerly and shook it, "I haven't played on a team for a year, so I'm pretty rusty on things that include working with other people on the court, so pretty much everything, but I think I'm pretty good at serving."

"I can vouch for that," Tsukishima interjected, he had seen Yamaguchi's serving when they played against Kuroo, Bokuto, and Kenma. Even Kuroo had trouble receiving some of them, mostly because of how unpredictable they were, "We've played together a few times and his serves are really unpredictable and pretty hard to recieve."

Ukai nodded, "Alright, practice will start in a few minutes, so you should make sure you're warmed up by then."

Yamaguchi nodded, "Thank you sir."

Ukai shrugged, "It's no problem."

Yamaguchi and Tsukishima turned and walked away, and Tsukishima chuckled slightly, "So, what do you think of the team so far?"

Yamaguchi laughed in return, "They're quite… different from what I expected. Especially the freak duo, er, Hinata and Kageyama I guess. Do they always fight that much?"

Tsukishima nodded, "Yep, they're actually not as bad today as they usually are. Neither of them have started screaming yet."

As he said this, the pair began to fight.

"Hinata you dumbass!" Kageyama yelled so loud that it echoed through the gym, "You're supposed to hit the toss when I throw it!"

"Well your toss was sucky!" Hinata responded just as loudly, "It was way too low!"

With the sounds of Kageyama and Hinata bickering in the background, Tsukishima kept talking, "I shouldn't have said anything."

Yamaguchi laughed, "You really shouldn't have."

"Hinata, Kageyama, quit fighting!" Ukai's voice rose above both of the screaming teenager's, "Everyone come sit down, except for you Suga and Daichi, you still have laps to run!"

As Ukai had ordered, the team sat in a cluster in front of him, and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi sat nearer to the back.

"Alright, first of all," Ukai began talking somewhat loudly, like he always did, and Tsukishima felt Yamaguchi reach for his hand. Tsukishima suddenly felt kind of guilty, Yamaguchi must have been feeling overwhelmed by the situation.

"We have a new team member joining us today, everyone say hi to Yamaguchi."

Tsukishima felt Yamaguchi squeeze his hand as the group turned around to face them, but Yamaguchi smiled and waved as if nothing was bothering him, "Uh, hey, I'm super happy to be here, Tsukki's told me a lot about you guys, so I'm excited to get to know you all better."

Suddenly, Sugawara's voice rang through the mostly quiet gym, "Hell yea, I made it to a thousand laps baby!"

Yamaguchi gave Tsukishima a confused look, and then the team started yelling, all congratulating Suga on the laps.

"A thousand laps? For what?"

Tsukishima responded without thinking, "PDA, he's been working all year to have Ukai make him run a thousand laps for it."

"PDA?" Yamaguchi questioned further, "As in public displays of affection?"

Tsukishima nodded, "Or as Ukai likes to call it, 'quit making out during practice you fucking nasties'. He makes us run laps for pretty much anything other than hugging."

Yamaguchi laughed, seeming to have relaxed now that the attention was off of him and on Suga.

Tsukishima smiled to himself, this was going to be an interesting season.

* * *

They had been at practice for literally five minutes, and Hinata was already causing problems. The moment Ukai gave them their warm up (a mile run around the campus of the school) Hinata was running alongside Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, "So Yamaguchi-kun, how did you meet Tsukki?"

Tsukishima scowled, and quickly responded to the small teenager's presence, "Go away."

Yamaguchi however, smiled, and brushed off Tsukishima's quick answer, "Come on Tsukki, he's not being too annoying. I met him when he came into my flower shop _on_ Mother's Day to get his mom some flowers, and then he forgot to bring money so he came by again, and then it just kind of evolved from there."

Hinata smiled, "Whoa, _your_ flower shop? You own your own flower shop?"

Yamaguchi laughed, and Tsukishima scowled, Hinata's enthusiasm was annoying as usual, but somehow Yamaguchi was putting up with it, "Technically it's my dad's flower shop, but I've been running the storefront myself for about a year."

"That's cool! Wait, whoa, is that a tattoo on your neck?" Hinata had noticed Yamaguchi's tattoo, and things could only go downhill from there.

For once, Kageyama had good timing, and he sprinted past, yelling, "Better get a move on before I beat you dumbass!"

Hinata quickly stopped talking, and sprinted away after Kageyama without so much as a goodbye. Tsukishima could tell that Yamaguchi was uncomfortable, it was clear from his expression, "Sorry about him."

Tsukishima apologized for the idiotic spiker, "He doesn't have any concept of boundaries apparently."

Yamaguchi shook his head, "No, no, it's fine. I was just thinking. I'm fine."

Tsukishima frowned slightly, but he dropped the subject, he didn't want to pry any farther. Yamaguchi was probably overwhelmed enough at the moment, he didn't need Tsukishima bearing down on him.

* * *

Aside from Hinata at the beginning of practice, most of the practice had gone by like usual, and just as uneventfully.

That is until Ukai proposed that they try playing a full practice match, since they finally had the twelve players needed to have two teams, and he wanted to see how Yamaguchi played as well.

Naturally, Hinata responded enthusiastically, jumping into the air like he seemed to always be doing. Everybody agreed, and Tsukishima found himself standing next to a Yamaguchi who almost had as much energy as Hinata.

"Ahhhh this is gonna be awesome!" Yamaguchi was standing up on his toes and letting his weight fall back onto his heels over and over, "I haven't played in an actual six on six game in so long!"

Tsukishima found himself smiling at Yamaguchi's excitement, "Be careful, you're starting to sound like Hinata."

Yamaguchi laughed, "That wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, his enthusiasm seems like it helps you guys a lot."

Tsukishima shrugged, "I guess you're kind of right, I've never really noticed it. Him and Noya are usually our big morale boosters during matches, Tanaka too."

Yamaguchi was about to respond, but Ukai blew the whistle, and tossed a ball onto Tsukishima and Yamaguchi's side of the court, "Alright, Team A will serve first."

The matchup was fairly even, Team A consisted of Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Sugawara, Kinoshita, Asahi, and Nishinoya. Team B had Daichi, Tanaka, Ennoshita, Narita, Kageyama, and Hinata.

It had been decided that Tsukishima would be up to serve, saving the wild card that was Yamaguchi for later on, so Tsukishima caught it and stepped back over the back line.

He didn't know how to do anything fancy with his serves like Yamaguchi or Kageyama did, so he tossed it up in the air and hit it over to the other side of the court normally.

The other side received it easily, and Tsukishima rushed forwards to around the center of the net, watching to see who jumped up for the spike. Hinata jumped, but if it were going to be the godspeed quick the ball would have already left Kageyama's hands, so that left either Tanaka or Ennoshita to hit the spike. Both of them jumped, but Ennoshita's jump seemed more half-hearted, so Tsukishima pushed off of the ground in front of Tanaka along with Sugawara, but the ball never flew up into the air from Kageyama's hands because it was already falling to the ground right in front of the net on Tsukishima's side.

He mentally cursed himself for having forgotten about the setter dump, and looked over at the falling ball as Nishinoya dove forward and recieved it. The ball flew up into the air, way off to the corner of the court.

He looked back as he hit the ground, and saw Yamaguchi running towards the ball, and he managed to get his forearms underneath it before it was too far down to have to dive, sending it flying back near to the center of the court, where Asahi jumped up and spiked it down to the other side. Hinata and Kageyama had jumped up to block it, but it blew right past their hands.

Tsukishima looked back at Yamaguchi once again, who was watching the spike with a huge grin on his face. It suddenly occurred to him that Yamaguchi had only ever seen them play from a distance, never as close as being on the court with them was.

* * *

The practice game had gone on for a few rallies, and now it was Yamaguchi's turn to serve. He was calm and composed as he stood far behind the back line to serve, spinning it in his hands a few times and bouncing it on the ground. He took a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling visibly.

He took a few steps forward to build up momentum, tossed the ball high into the air, and jumped. At first, the serve looked like it was going to be a powerful one that sent the ball straight down to the court before the blockers could catch up, and Tsukishima saw the other team move back just a little bit in anticipation for this, but at the last second Yamaguchi changed the serve up and hit it with the heel of his palm, causing it to float over the net and drop to the ground before Daichi could dive forward and receive it.

Nishinoya was the first to react to this, in a very loud fashion like usual, "Nice serve Yamaguchi! Where did you learn how to do that?"

Yamaguchi went slightly red, and he pulled a hair pin from his pocket and pinned his bangs that had slipped out of the pony tail back as he spoke, "I'm mostly self-taught, I watched a lot of videos. I had some trouble with my teammates so serving was the only thing I could really ever get really good at."

Sugawara was next to chime in, "Well, that was really good, hit 'em with another one this time."

Yamaguchi smiled and nodded, and Tsukishima gave him a silent thumbs up from across the court.

Once the ball was back in his hands, Yamaguchi stepped far behind the back line again, ran forward, threw the ball, and jumped.

"Watch out for that float serve!" Daichi yelled as Yamaguchi was starting his approach, and Tsukishima watched as the players on the court spread out to cover as much ground as possible.

That was their mistake. Yamaguchi swung his arm forward as hard as he could, and his palm connected with the ball, sending it straight at the gap between Kageyama and Hinata.

Kageyama lunged to the side to attempt to get to it, but it was too late, the ball had already hit the court.

"Whoaaa nice one Yamaguchi! That was almost even better than Kageyama!" Nishinoya yelled, turning around to face Yamaguchi, who was pulling another hair pin out of his pocket to pin back the hair that had fallen out of place.

Yamaguchi smiled, and accepted the compliment, "T-thanks! It was a little off from where I wanted it to go though."

Asahi seemed surprised by this, "Really? That seemed perfect to me, you've got really good aim."

Yamaguchi shrugged, "I've spent a lot of time practicing, like full days sometimes, working on it since like eighth grade. So I've gotten pretty good at controlling it."

Tsukishima finally decided to add his input to the conversation, and turned towards the three who were talking, "You were gonna try and hit the gap between Hinata and the edge of the court, right?"

Yamaguchi nodded, "Yeah, he's the weakest receiver, so I figured he'd flub the recieve if I put it in just the right spot, and there wouldn't be anyone to cover."

"Nice thinking Yamaguchi," Sugawara called from across the court, "Get us another point with those wicked serves."

Yamaguchi nodded, and the team split back into their formation on the court, with Yamaguchi behind the back line with a ball, ready to serve.

* * *

"That was so awesome!" Yamaguchi exclaimed as he was standing in the club room with the rest of the team, changing out of his sweaty clothes, "I haven't played in an actual game in so long, it felt really good to actually be on a team for once."

"I'm happy you had fun Yamaguchi," Sugawara smiled as he was pushing the door open to leave the room with Daichi, "Your serves were killer."

Yamaguchi smiled, "Thanks! I've spent a lot of time working on them, so I'm happy they worked."

Suga grinned, and pulled Daichi out of the room, "Well, we're leaving, see you guys tomorrow morning!"

"That is if you don't try and cancel practice again!" Tanaka jeered after them, and Sugawara poked his head back into the door for a moment.

"Oh, trust me I'm not doing that again, if my ass wasn't sore before I got to practice it definitely was after Ukai kicked my ass."

After saying this, Suga quickly left, probably because Daichi was scolding him, letting the door shut behind him, and a relative quiet fell over the club room. The quiet conversation amongst the second years was really the only sound. Tsukishima liked it when it got like this.

"Tsukki, aren't you gonna change?"

Yamaguchi's voice startled Tsukishima at first, but he quickly relaxed, "I usually change at home, I just don't like changing in front of other people much."

Yamaguchi nodded, "Oh, okay."

"Come on Yamayama-kun it's not that hard!"

The pair heard Hinata's loud, obnoxious voice from outside the club room, "Just tell him you wanna know how he aims his serves so well!"

"Hinata you dumbass, shut up, they can probably hear us!" Kageyama hissed in response, in a much lower voice than Hinata.

Yamaguchi turned to Tsukishima, "I'm assuming they're talking about me?"

Tsukishima nodded, "Yep, be prepared for lots of stuttering, Kageyama absolutely sucks at giving compliments."

"Good to know," Yamaguchi finished pulling his shirt over his head just as Hinata shoved Kageyama through the door, quite literally, and elbowed him in the side, "Come on, just say it, it's not that hard."

Kageyama turned to his small boyfriend as Tsukishima and Yamaguchi stood there watching, "That's easy for you to say you tell people things are cool every five seconds!"

"Well then it should be easy for you to do it one time!" Hinata argued against him, apparently not budging on the issue.

"Ugh, fine," Kageyama finally turned away from Hinata and looked back over at Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, "Y-Yamaguchi-san, I thought your s-serves were cool, and I was wondering if you c-could teach me how to have more control over them sometime."

Yamaguchi smiled at him, and Kageyama seemed to relax instantly, "Yea, I wouldn't mind! I have plans today though, so maybe tomorrow after practice?"

Kageyama nodded, "Y-yea, that should work, thanks."

"Okay Kageyama-kun you told him so come on come toss to me some more!" As soon as Kageyama finished talking, Hinata was pulling on his arm,

"Fine, fine," Kageyama obliged, and the two left the club room as quickly as they had entered it.

"Everyone seems to really like your serves," Tsukishima finally spoke, "You really should have some confidence in yourself."

Yamaguchi turned back to him, face growing slightly red, "I know, but I didn't want to sound too overconfident."

Tsukishima stood up as he responded, "I guess, come on, let's go find Hitoka."

Yamaguchi nodded, and followed Tsukishima as he walked out of the club room, reaching for his hand as they walked.

* * *

Tsukishima had been standing by the wall of the gym with Yamaguchi, an arm around his shoulder, talking to him during one of their breaks when a loud tornado of a human being burst into the gym, one who had been noticeably absent for the first half of practice.

"Asahi-saaaaan!" Nishinoya's voice echoed through the gym as he sprinted in, in search of his boyfriend.

There was a loud crash as he tackled Asahi to the ground, and Nishinoya kept yelling at an immeasurable volume, "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving today?"

A few weeks had passed, and it was the last day before school started. Tsukishima wasn't sure why Nishinoya was surprised that Asahi was moving away that day.

"I'm sorry Yuu, we were gonna tell everybody after practice!"

Tanaka heard this, they were yelling after all, and then he started yelling, "Wait the third years are moving away today? Kiyoko-san is gonna be leaving?"

Yachi, who was standing next to her girlfriend rolled her eyes, "Was I the only one who knew?"

Tsukishima shrugged, making eye contact with Yachi from across the gym.

This whole exchange was interrupted by Ukai blowing his whistle, which had come to be known as the 'PDA whistle' by the team, "Noya, five laps!"

Nishinoya got up and turned to Ukai, "Aw come on coach, it wasn't even that bad! Tsukishima's over there standing with his freaking arm around Yamaguchi! Make them run laps!"

Tsukishima felt Yamaguchi tense up under his arm, and he squeezed his shoulder gently, he wouldn't really mind running the laps as punishment.

But what happened next kind of surprised him, "There's a good reason for him to be doing that, go run your laps Nishinoya."

Then again, it wasn't really that surprising now that he thought about it. Ukai knew about Yamaguchi's attempted suicide the year prior, Yamaguchi had warned him that he might not be at his best the day before school started because of it himself.

He had thought they were off the hook, but as Ukai turned to them he awkwardly unwrapped his arm from around Yamaguchi's shoulder.

"You're free this time, but keep it to a minimum and only if it's absolutely necessary," Ukai's voice was still sharp, but there was an almost caring undertone to it.

Tsukishima nodded, and he noticed Yamaguchi reaching a hand up to touch the scar on his neck out of the corner of his eye. He frowned slightly, and as soon as Ukai walked away, he reached his hand out to cover Yamaguchi's, "Hey, it'll be fine. You've got me this time."

In response to this, Yamaguchi leaned his head into Tsukishima's chest his good mood suddenly completely evaporated, dropping his hand down from his neck so both arms dangled at his sides.

Tsukishima slid his hand from Yamaguchi's scar to the back of his neck, where the section hair that never quite fit into his ponytail rested, and he brought his other hand up to rest on Yamaguchi's back, pulling him just a little bit closer.

It took a few moments, but he felt Yamaguchi's arms wrap gently around his torso , his hands gently holding onto the back of Tsukishima's shirt.

Tsukishima was surprised they hadn't gotten yelled at yet to be completely honest, and he was just waiting, listening for that whistle.

But instead he got Yamaguchi's shaky voice, "I... I think I wanna go home Tsukki."

Tsukishima nodded, and stepped backwards, letting go of Yamaguchi, and he felt Yamaguchi's hands slip from where they rested back to his sides, "I'll let coach know, and we can get going."

Yamaguchi nodded, and Tsukishima jogged over to where Ukai was standing, talking to Takeda, "Hey coach, Tadashi isn't doing too well, is it okay if I take him home?"

Ukai finished his sentence, and turned back to Tsukishima, "Yea, of course, we'll see you guys in the morning?"

Tsukishima nodded, "Yes sir, thank you."

Ukai nodded, but Tsukishima didn't see, because he was already running back to where Yamaguchi was standing.

He put an arm around Yamaguchi's shoulder, and began walking with him towards the door. They were almost out of the gym when Tsukishima heard Tanaka yell from across the gym, "Ohoho leaving early to get some action, huh Tsukishima!"

He felt Yamaguchi tense up just like he had a few minutes ago, and it really pissed Tsukishima off.

Without hesitation, Tsukishima turned around to face Tanaka, "Tanaka, shut the hell up. Thanks."

He didn't even wait to see Tanaka's reaction before walking out with Yamaguchi, he didn't really care how he reacted to it anyways.

"Thanks Tsukki," Yamaguchi spoke quietly once they got out of the gym, his voice shaky.

Tsukishima shrugged, "It's fine, let's go grab our stuff from the club room."

He felt Yamaguchi nod as he leaned his head gently on Tsukishima's shoulder, and Tsukishima saw him scratching gently at the scars on his forearms out of the corner of his eye.

* * *

Tsukishima pushed the door to the flower shop open with one arm, keeping the other wrapped firmly around Yamaguchi's shoulder.

The pair was silent, just as they had been since they left the gym. Tsukishima walked behind the counter and opened the door to the apartment, leading Yamaguchi in. He kicked off his shoes at the bottom of the stairs and hung his bag up on the hook near it, helping Yamaguchi do the same.

Still in silence, they made their way up the stairs, and into Yamaguchi's room. Yamaguchi shut the door behind them, and they sat down on the bed, facing each other.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Tsukishima was surprised at how quiet his voice was when it came out.

Yamaguchi nodded, his gaze angled downwards, "Sort of. It's not really something I can put into words, you know what I'm saying? I just, I'm doing better than I ever have. I've got you, I made it into the school that I've wanted to go to since elementary, and I'm playing volleyball there too like I always wanted to, so I should be feeling amazing. But I don't. I just… I don't know, I feel like its all for nothing, I feel like everything's just gonna come crashing down again like it always does when things start going well again. It happened last year when I relapsed, and I don't want it to happen again."

Tsukishima reached out and took Yamaguchi's hands in his, just for the comfort of the physical contact, "That's why I'm here, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."

"I'm just…" Yamaguchi trailed off slightly before he kept talking again, "I'm scared. Every time I've gone to a new school I've ended up being picked on, and it's always been _something._ There's always been _something_ that people don't like that they've teased me for, like I have freckles, I'm too skinny, my cheeks are too fat, or that I'm covered in ugly fucking scars and I'm weak even though it was _them_ who drove me to it, it was them who made me feel so fucking horrible that I did things to myself that left the scars that they made fun of me for, and I'm fucking sick and tired of it and I'm really scared it's gonna happen again at Karasuno too."

Tsukishima took a deep breath, and let go of Yamaguchi's hands, "I get it. I really do. I… I wanna show you something. Nobody else knows about this."

He began pulling his shirt over his head, and Yamaguchi quickly argued against it, "W-wait Tsukki what are you doing?!"

"Relax, it's not anything weird. I promise," Tsukishima pulled his shirt the rest of the way over his head, and dropped it next to him on the bed.

He felt exposed, uncomfortable. He couldn't remember the last time he had taken his shirt off around someone else, it had to have been when he started getting harassed for it, when he first started hurting himself back in seventh grade. Nobody knew about these scars except for Akiteru, and sitting there with them on full display, even when it was Yamaguchi, felt uncomfortable.

There were scars on the tops of his shoulders and down the sides of his upper arms just a little ways, all the way up his sides and across his torso. Lines across his skin that were just a little lighter than the rest, that rose up above his skin just slightly.

These were the scars he had been teased relentlessly for, not directly, but because he would almost yelp with pain anytime anyone so much as touched him anywhere on his torso, because he never changed in the changing room with the rest of the guys, because he always wore a t-shirt during their swimming units in gym class. He was teased because he started crying once when he got hit in the chest with a volleyball during practice, and he couldn't justify himself without anyone knowing that he was hurting himself, so he took the teasing and the insults, and he went home and cut himself more, creating more scars, more pain, and more volleyballs to the chest that resulted in tears.

He was so lost in his thoughts, he almost jumped when Yamaguchi reached out and touched the longest, most jagged scar on his body. It stretched across his chest near the middle, and was by far the worst of the injuries he had inflicted on himself. It was also the last.

"Why?"

That was all Yamaguchi said as he ran his fingers gently across the scar, voice quiet, and disbelieving. His touch sent shivers down Tsukishima's spine.

Tsukishima's gaze dropped downwards towards the bed as he tried to think of how to answer.

"I uh, had a friend back in middle school. I came out to him sometime kind of near the end of middle school, and he, he told me I was better off dead. So that really screwed me up. Then about a month after I came out, he showed up at my house, completely wasted, and he kissed me. Things progressed from there, and he had been so drunk that he didn't remember anything. And he went right back to being a complete jackass. A few other things happened, I broke his nose, and he told me he hated me, and he broke me."

Yamaguchi listened patiently for Tsukishima to finish, his hand still resting on the scar. He stayed silent for a moment afterwards, still staring at Tsukishima's torso. His gaze landed on a spot to the left, about halfway up, where the huge scar ended, where the small tattoo of a semicolon was, "So you've got a tattoo too?"

Tsukishima nodded, "Yea, it was my brother's idea. He said I should put it at the end of the scar, because it's like in a sentence where one part ends and then there's a semicolon, or something like that."

Yamaguchi smiled softly, "I like it."

Then all of a sudden, Tsukishima felt tears dripping down his face, and Yamaguchi noticed within seconds, "Oh God Tsukki, are you okay?"

Tsukishima nodded, wiping the tears from his eyes, only for them to quickly be replaced by more, "Yea, I'm fine. It's just… It's so nice being able to tell someone, especially someone who _really gets it_. I've had to keep them secret from literally everybody."

"Well maybe you don't have to," Yamaguchi finally moved his hand from the scar, and dropped it back into his lap.

"What do you mean?" Tsukishima fought hard against the tears, willing them to stop flowing.

"I guess just don't try as hard to keep them hidden. They're a part of your past, and they prove that you're strong, so you shouldn't have to worry about them. Like start changing in the club room after practice instead of home or the bathroom, that kind of thing."

Tsukishima found himself laughing through the tears when Yamaguchi spoke, and he didn't quite know why, "God, look at us, we're both such messes."

Yamaguchi cracked a smile, and chuckled, "We really are aren't we. We're complete wrecks. It's a good thing we found each other."

"It really is, isn't it."

* * *

Tsukishima woke up with Yamaguchi the next morning, with Yamaguchi's head resting on his bare chest, hair still tied back into a messy ponytail. There were tears dried onto the glasses that Tsukishima had forgotten to take off, clouding his vision just slightly.

Despite his tear stained glasses, it only took one look for Tsukishima to know for a fact that he was completely and utterly in love with the boy resting his head on his chest.

This boy had changed his life.

The freckled boy with a pretty face and countless scars whose hair would never stay tied back no matter how hard he tried who had a smile that could put the most anxious person at ease, the boy who likes flowers and playing volleyball. The boy with a killer serve that could float right over the net and drop right in front of it or slam down onto the court anywhere he wanted it to go, confusing anyone who went up against it. The boy who loved Jurassic Park as much as Tsukishima did, and who had to stand on top of the tables in the flower shop to water the hanging baskets, and who could somehow stand the presence of the freak quick duo. The boy who was far from being okay, but kept working towards it anyways, who bore his scars with pride, knowing that one day the memories of depressive episodes and thoughts of suicide will be just memories instead of realities. This was the boy Tsukishima had fallen in love with.

Tsukishima had never been happier, and it was all because of the boy in the flower shop.

* * *

 **A/N: Whelp, there you go, I hope you like it! I've spent a total of 47 days working on this, and it's my most developed story so far. I realize that Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are pretty out of character, but I'm gonna go ahead and blame it on them developing differently without each other. Like I said at the top, this was actually originally going to be a short one-shot that ended with Tsukishima getting Yamaguchi's number that first day, but as you can see, its far from that lmao**

 **I'll probably still update this with little random moments I wanted to write about but couldn't figure out a way to fit into the story, so keep an eye out for those!**

 **~Niki**


	3. Why'd You Do It?

**IMPORTANT WARNING: _Please_ do not read this if you have any triggers relating to self-harm, suicide, and/or extreme homophobia. I like to share my stories with people, but I also don't want any of you getting hurt because of it. **

**If you don't have any of those triggers, keep reading, and enjoy!**

* * *

For Tsukishima Kei, life kind of sucked, at least at the moment.

He was close to the end of his third year of middle school, with only a few months until graduation, and he was ninety-eight percent sure he had a huge crush on his best friend.

Now, normally, this wouldn't have been a problem. That is if his best friend had been a girl.

He had heard all the lectures his mom gave Akiteru about his gay friends, which he was quickly forbidden to talk to (though he did so anyways).

So when Tsukishima realized that he was looking at Hiromi the way he was supposed to be looking at a girl, he wasn't really sure what the hell he was supposed to do.

Maybe if he told Hiromi he would be fine with it, that is if he were lucky.

When he finally got the nerve to tell Hiromi that he was gay (he figured he should leave the crush part out of it) behind the gym after practice one day, Tsukishima was the opposite of lucky. At first it might have seemed so, Hiromi had him shoved up against the wall, and he looked up at Tsukishima with fire in his eyes.

But it was all wrong. This wasn't what Tsukishima had dreamed of.

The fire in his eyes was angry, and malicious, and his forearm rested on Tsukishima's chest, except it wasn't just resting there, it was continuously pushing him into the wall, shoving his shoulders against the concrete.

Tsukishima could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and he had no doubts that Hiromi could feel it too. His breath quickened, and he pushed himself farther against the wall in an effort to get away from Hiromi.

He waited for Hiromi to say something, anything.

"I don't know what you wanted to get out of this by telling me," Hiromi glared up at Tsukishima, and it seemed like he had more to say, but for whatever reason, he didn't say it.

"I-I..." Tsukishima's voice shook, and he couldn't seem to make his voice work correctly, "I-I'm sorry..."

"Yea, I sure hope you are," Hiromi gave him one last shove into the wall, causing his elbows to scrape painfully against the rough cement.

"Honestly, if you ask me," Hiromi crossed his arms across his chest and glared at Tsukishima, "People like you shouldn't exist. You're better off dead."

Tsukishima suddenly found himself stifling a chuckle despite the situation, "People like me? Five minutes ago I was your best friend, and now I'm 'people'. What happened?"

"You decided to be gay," Hiromi responded simply, "That's what happened."

Tsukishima watched as his friend turned around and walked away, still attempting to hold back his laughter at the situation.

As soon as Hiromi rounded the corner, Tsukishima slid down against the wall, tears quickly pooling in his eyes and pouring down his face.

He was so wonderfully fucked.

The one person he had been counting on to be there to support him had just told him he was better off dead.

Tsukshima thought that maybe his mom was right, and being like him really wasn't right, and Akiteru was the wrong one, but who was right didn't really matter at the moment because his best friend hated him, and told him he was better off dead, and Tsukishima had never even told him how he felt.

There at that moment, Tsukishima really felt like taking Hiromi's advice.

It had been about a month since he had spoken to Hiromi, and Tsukishima still hadn't managed to get over the loss of his friend. A friendship of multiple years didn't necessarily go away after a month.

Due to his frustrations about various things, mostly Hiromi and his sexuality, Tsukishima had developed a bit of a habit. A terrible habit that involved taking a kitchen knife to his sides when he was home alone, and since he was alone often, his sides were littered with cuts in various stages of healing and scarring.

He was sitting on the floor next to his bed doing just this when his phone went off. He stood up and pulled his shirt back down over his torso, and put the knife in the nightstand drawer where he kept it, shoving a few notebooks and other things over it just in case somebody would open up the drawer.

By the time he was able to pick up his phone, there were four messages, and when Tsukishima saw who they were from he was honestly shocked.

It was Hiromi.

Three of the four messages just read 'kei' and the fourth was asking if he was home alone.

Puzzled, Tsukishima answered yes, and sat down on his bed.

As he waited for Hiromi to respond, watching the three little dots on his screen pop up and disappear a few times.

When the message finally sent, it was riddled with typos, but Tsukishima got the general gist of it.

As he stood up and tossed his phone on the bed, Tsukishima checked his sides one more time, and ran down the stairs to the front door.

When he unlocked the door and opened it up, Hiromi was standing there, just like he had said he would be.

Before Tsukishima could say, or do, anything, Hiromi's arms were wrapping around his neck, and his hands were holding onto the back of Tsukishima's shirt, and Hiromi was shoving their lips together clumsily.

At first, Tsukishima wasn't sure what to do. Hiromi was clearly drunk, Tsukishima could taste it on his lips, though he had heard mentions of a party a few days ago, so it wasn't all that surprising. But nonetheless, taking advantage of Hiromi while he was like this was a pretty crappy move. But then again, Tsukishima figured he wasn't going to remember anything anyways. If he was drunk enough to go to Tsukishima's house and kiss him in the doorway, he was too drunk to remember the night.

So Tsukishima shoved the door shut with his foot, and locked it with his free hand, using the other to pull Hiromi just a bit closer, fully aware of the fact that he was basically digging his own grave.

As he pulled away just slightly, he heard Hiromi say exactly what he had been about to, his voice barely more than a breathy whisper, "Upstairs?"

Tsukishima nodded, and miraculously, the pair managed to make it up the stairs and to Tsukishima's room without falling.

As they stepped into Tsukishima's room, Tsukishima pulled the door shut and switched off the lights, blindly feeling along the wall for the light switch as he did so.

Once the lights were off, Hiromi wasted no time in shoving Tsukishima down and onto his bed, and kneeling overtop of him,

Tsukishima pushed himself into a bit more of a sitting position in response, leaning back onto his elbows momentarily.

He felt Hiromi pull back slightly, and Tsukishima leaned into his lips as he did so, trying to avoid breaking the kiss.

But Hiromi put a hand on Tsukishima's chest and pushed him back, pulling his glasses off with the other.

As Hiromi leaned over him, setting Tsukishima's glasses on the nightstand, Tsukishima could see his vision starting to go double and fuzzy, so he did what he could to fix it. By the time his vision was mostly back to normal, Hiromi was sitting back on Tsukishima's hips, pulling his shirt over his head.

Tsukishima watched as Hiromi stretched his arms above his head and tossed his shirt to the side, looking back down at Tsukishima, giving him a look that was somewhere between terrifying and arousing, and damn, Tsukishima didn't think he'd ever been as attracted to someone as he was in that very moment. Even if that person had just told him he was better off dead a month ago. Though when that thought surface it kind of killed the vibe.

Tsukishima sat up slightly, and brought his lips back to Hiromi's, only to be pushed straight back down onto his elbows, with one of Hiromi's hands on his chest, the other resting on the bed next to him.

He felt Hiromi's lips leave his, and instead they traveled down the side of his face to right underneath his jaw, where he lingered for just a moment.

Tsukishima knew exactly what was coming next, but he still let out a sharp gasp as he felt Hiromi's teeth bite into his skin.

Hiromi stayed like that for a moment, and as he did so, Tsukishima exhaled shakily.

He felt Hiromi's lips move to another spot, closer to his collarbone, but that wasn't what Tsukishima's focus was on this time.

Hiromi's hands rested on his hips, and Tsukishima could feel them slipping under the hem of his shirt and sliding up his sides, right where all the cuts were.

Tsukishima quickly grabbed Hiromi's hands and pulled them away, he didn't want what was happening to be ruined by his own stupidity. Especially if they started bleeding again.

Hiromi, however, persisted, and Tsukishima sat up slightly as Hiromi pulled his shirt over his head, and tossed it aside, like he had with his own not even minutes before.

Tsukishima felt Hiromi's gaze traveling down his torso, so in an attempt to distract him from the gashes on his sides, he pressed their lips together again, but Hiromi pulled back and sat back on Tsukishima's legs.

He reached his hands out and touched Tsukishima's sides gently, and when he spoke it was barely more than a whisper, "Is this because of me?"

The softness was such a sudden change from what had been happening just moments before, and Tsukishima wanted it to go back. The roughness was easy to deal with, but soft, and tender? Tsukishima couldn't deal with that. It resembled actual trust and care, which was something he wanted so badly with Hiromi it hurt.

Tsukishima didn't want it, because he knew when they woke up the next morning everything was going to be gone, because Hiromi was blackout drunk and if Tsukishima told him Hiromi would hate him even more.

He shook his head, and leaned back in to kiss Hiromi again, dismissing his concerns as he did so, "It's nothing, I'm fine."

Hiromi quickly placed his hands on Tsukishima's chest, and pushed him away gently, "No, you're not, answer me. Please."

"I said I'm fine," Tsukishima answered quickly, "Can we please just forget about this and go back to what we were doing?"

Hiromi, however, didn't listen, "It's because of me, why the hell are you doing this with me?"

Tsukishima saw tears forming in Hiromi's eyes, despite the darkness, and he couldn't provide an answer.

Why was he doing this?

He felt Hiromi's hands clench into fists, still resting on his chest, "I'm really really sorry Kei."

As he spoke, he leaned his head forwards and rested it on Tsukishima's chest in between his hands.

Not sure of what to say, Tsukishima wrapped his arms around Hiromi's shoulders, and pulled him a little closer.

He knew that in the morning this would all be gone, Hiromi actually caring about him, and all the other stuff, but he managed to find some comfort in holding his ex best friend to his chest as he cried his apologies.

* * *

Tsukishima was the first one to wake up that morning, and he thanked god that he was, because if Hiromi had gotten up first Tsukishima probably would have gotten punched in the face.

He was laying on his bed, half covered by the blankets, with Hiromi laying on top of him, his head resting on Tsukishima's stomach, his arms wrapped around him.

He knew he had to get out of the bed before Hiromi got up, but he wasn't sure how to do that without waking Hiromi up himself.

With much effort, Tsukishima managed to slip out from underneath Hiromi without waking his sleeping sort-of friend.

He found his shirt on the ground next to his bed, and wasted no time in pulling it on.

Now that he was moving around, Tsukishima was sure Hiromi was going to be up soon, and he wasn't sure he wanted to be in the room when he did.

Tsukishima figured Hiromi was probably going to have one of the worst hangovers in the history of mankind, so he assumed that it would make the chances of Hiromi murdering him much lower if he brought him something to help with it, so that's what he did.

Tsukishima pushed his door open and shut it gently, not wanting to wake Hiromi up, and crept through the hall and down the stairs to the kitchen, not sure if his mom was home and up yet.

Sure enough, she was, and she was sitting at the dining room table with a cup of coffee, "And the dead rises."

Tsukishima jumped slightly at the sound of her voice, and turned around to face her, "Morning mom."

She chuckled lightly, and looked at Tsukishima, "Jumpy much?"

He shook his head gently, "Sorry, wasn't expecting you home yet."

She laughed in response, and shook her head, "So anyways," she set down her mug and pointed at Tsukishima, "What did you do to your neck?"

Tsukishima began panicking internally, though he did his best not to let any of it show on his face, though he subconsciously reached up and covered the incriminating red spot under his jaw with his hand. He had completely forgotten about it, "N-nothing."

His voice shook as he spoke, coming up with an excuse on the spot, "Hiromi invited me to a party last night, there was a girl. Nothing really happened cause Hiromi puked and made me take him home. Speaking of Hiromi by the way, he stayed here last night, he's still here."

Not giving her a chance to respond, he walked over to the cupboards to grab a glass to fill with water, "And I think he might kill me if I don't hurry up and get him something to drink."

As he was filling up the cup at the sink he heard his mom laugh from the table, "And here I was afraid I was raising a social recluse, but I guess I was wrong."

Tsukishima tensed up slightly as she spoke, since she was completely wrong, but he forced a laugh in response, "I wouldn't count on that, I kinda hated it."

His mom frowned, "Well, at least you kissed a girl. Finally."

She added the last part with a bit of a malicious, yet teasing tone in her voice, and Tsukishima began walking up the stairs as he responded, "I guess, yea."

The way his mom said what she said felt like a knife to the gut. It made him realize that he would never actually be able to tell his mom about the first time he kissed someone, he wouldn't even be able to tell the person who he had kissed.

As he stepped back into his room, he picked Hiromi's shirt up off the ground, and walked over to his bed, where Hiromi laid, hugging a pillow with his face buried in it.

He frowned and set the glass of water on his nightstand, nudging Hiromi's shoulder, "Hey, Hiromi, get up."

Hiromi groaned and shoved his face farther into the pillow, ignoring Tsukishima for a moment.

But as he was probably realizing where he was, he lifted his head from the pillow and looked at Tsukishima.

"God, what happened last night?" Hiromi groaned and brushed his bangs out of his eyes, squinting against the dim light that was filtering through Tsukishima's curtains, "I feel like my head's gonna explode... and why am I in your bed, and where the hell is my shirt?"

Tsukishima dropped Hiromi's shirt on his shoulders, and sighed. He really wished he didn't have to explain everything away, "You threw up last night on it so I washed it for you. You were completely wasted last night, and my mom wasn't home. You passed out pretty much right after you got here."

As Tsukishima explained, Hiromi pulled his shirt over his head, and to his relief Hiromi seemed satisfied with the explanation.

Hiromi sighed and rubbed his eyes, "Ugh, alright. Can you go get me some painkillers or something before my head explodes?"

Tsukishima nodded, and grabbed his glasses off the nightstand, "Yea one sec, I'll be right there."

He turned around before Hiromi could respond, feeling tears welling up in his eyes.

Tsukishima refused to cry in front of Hiromi, he wouldn't give him that.

* * *

Tsukishima wasn't quite sure when things had gotten as bad as they did. A little over three weeks had gone by since Hiromi showed up at his house that one night, and his mental state had quickly began going down the drain. He had grown to resent Hiromi, because of what he did, and making Tsukishima keep quiet about it.

He knew it was really his fault though, Hiromi had been drunk, and Tsukishima had welcomed it.

Since his mental state had began spiraling, that meant he hurt himself more. He quickly ran out of room on his sides, so he stupidly made the choice to move onto the front of his torso.

He knew he had a problem, but it was impossible to stop, so he started skipping practice. Getting hit in the chest with missed receives was a risk he couldn't take, because if he did he'd get found out.

So he only went enough so he wouldn't get rusty.

Of course, one of the few times he actually went to practice, it was a day for working on their receives.

So inevitably, he had gotten hit square in the chest with a spike, sending pain exploding through his chest.

He felt tears welling up in his eyes, and as he held his hands to his chest, he heard a jeer from Hiromi a few feet away.

"What are you gonna do, cry?"

He was really, really, sick of Hiromi and the crap he threw at Tsukishima.

So Tsukishima figured it was time to throw back.

He picked up one of the volleyballs that sat near him, and served it with as much power as he could, straight at Hiromi's face.

A satisfying crack rang through the gym as the ball miraculously hit its intended target, and a cry of pain from Hiromi quickly followed.

Before he had a chance to react, Hiromi was throwing himself at Tsukishima, grabbing his upper arms, attempting to shove him over.

Taken by surprise, and still weak from the blow straight to his chest, Tsukishima was knocked backwards by Hiromi.

Next he knew, they were on the ground, and Tsukishima was attempting to hold Hiromi's arms back as he tried to attack Tsukishima, blood pouring out of his now crooked nose onto Tsukishima's chest. He was thankful for at least that, the blood from Hiromi's nose would hide the blood from Tsukishima's own wound.

And just as suddenly as it had started, it was over. The coach and one of the other third years pulled Hiromi back and off of Tsukishima, holding him back by his arms as he struggled against them. With much less struggling on his end, Tsukishima felt a pair of hands under his armpits pull him into a standing position.

When Tsukishima looked back over at Hiromi, he was bent over with his face buried in his shirt to stop the blood pouring from his nose.

His coach placed a hand on Hiromi's shoulder, and guided him over to the door, pointing Tsukishima towards it as well, "Both of you, go get your stuff and call your parents. You can come back to practice in two weeks."

Obediently, Tsukishima followed Hiromi out the door, so he could get his stuff from the locker room.

It was as they walked together that Tsukishima realized it was the first time he had been alone with Hiromi since that one night.

The words lingered on the tip of his tongue, and he was so close to saying them.

"You don't even remember. Do you?"

Tsukishima was finally able to make his vocal chords work, and as soon as he spoke, he regretted it.

Hiromi looked over at Tsukishima, and stopped walking, "Remember what?"

His voice was weird, due to his busted nose, but it wasn't like it was impossible to understand him.

Tsukishima followed suit, and turned to face Hiromi as he spoke, "You remember that night you showed up at my house, completely wasted?"

Hiromi raised an eyebrow at Tsukishima, "I remember going to a party and waking up at your house, if that's what you mean."

Tsukishima took a deep breath before he spoke, steeling himself for a reaction from Hiromi that was sure to be violent, "Ok yea, well what I told you happened that night, it was all bullshit. I made it up so you wouldn't kill me, because you kissed me, a lot, and I don't know why you did, but I went along with it. And then you saw all the cuts on my sides, and it all stopped before it could go any further. You cried, and apologized. Then you fell asleep on top of me, which was why you were in my bed. You cared."

To his surprise, Hiromi's face was void of emotion. He didn't seem angry, at all. Then he broke into a grin, and chuckled lightly, "Damn Kei, didn't your mom ever teach you not to lie to people?"

Tsukishima frowned. This was just great, "Why would I lie to you about this? What motivation would I have to do that?"

Hiromi started laughing harder, which Tsukishima supposed was how he was dealing with the news, "I don't know, why would I believe you? Why would I do that?"

Tsukishima didn't know how to respond to that, mostly because he didn't know the answer to either question, "I don't know, you're the one who showed up, drunk off his ass, and kissed me in the doorway! I'm not the one who decided to get that drunk in the first place, and if you think for an instant I wanted that, you're completely wrong, because that night, has screwed with me, for so long! Do you realize that?"

Hiromi glared at him, his laughter ceasing, "You can stop now, I don't believe you. You're a pretty great actor you know, forget volleyball, you should consider a career in that."

Tsukishima really wasn't sure what to do now.

All he could really think of to do was kiss the guy standing in front of him, even though his face was caked with blood, even though he would almost inevitably get punched in the face, and against his better judgment, that's exactly what he did. Some irrational part of his brain thought that maybe it would make Hiromi remember.

The instant their lips touched, Hiromi did nothing. It was the instant after that everything happened in. Tsukishima felt a pair of hands on his chest that pushed him away, and down onto the ground.

He landed hard on his butt, and his elbows collided painfully with the ground as he tried to stop himself.

"I fucking hate you!"

Hiromi's voice was loud, really loud. And when Tsukishima looked up at his face, there was desperation in his expression, clouded by the tears pooling up in the corners of his eyes.

"When are you going to get the message? I hate you, I hate you, I fucking hate you!"

Each word was like a knife, being deliberately stabbed into his stomach, and he could do nothing to stop it. Because he had brought all of it upon himself.

If he had never told Hiromi that he was gay, it all would have been fine, and he wouldn't be in this position right now, sitting on the ground, looking up at someone who was dead set on killing him with each word he yelled.

He watched as tears began dropping down Hiromi's cheeks, balling his hands into fists at his sides as he yelled more words, more knives to the gut for Tsukishima.

That was what had finally broken him.

* * *

Hiromi was sitting in the emergency room, texting someone on his phone, when he heard the sirens.

He wondered what the poor guy in the ambulance was being rushed to the hospital for.

He was lucky enough to only be there because he passed out from the concussion Tsukishima had given him earlier that day, but that guy had probably gotten put through the ringer.

Soon, however, Hiromi's wonderings were cut short, because he heard the paramedics shouting orders to the doctors waiting by the doors for them to rush said poor guy into the emergency room.

Everything seemed to stop when he heard the words 'Kei Tsukishima' and 'Multiple stab wounds to the stomach'.

He watched as doctors swarmed around him, giving orders, yelling words he didn't know, and before he knew it he was watching Tsukishima be rushed away.

As he looked at the doors that they had disappeared into, Hiromi heard a vaguely familiar voice.

"Please, that's my little brother, you've gotta let me see him!"

As he looked over, he realized that the owner of the voice was Tsukishima's older brother.

That was somebody Hiromi really really didn't want to have to talk to at the moment.

"Sir, please calm down, we'll help him, please just calm down."

He watched as one of the doctors attempted to console Akiteru, placing his hands on the taller man's shoulders.

Akiteru seemed like he was trying to listen, and he sniffed as he attempted to get his sobs under control.

The doctor smiled gently, and placed a hand on his shoulder, leading him to the bed right next to where Hiromi was sitting to calm down.

Hiromi had just been sitting on his phone when he heard the sirens, he was texting a cute girl.

Now his phone laid on the ground, where he had dropped it, and his ex best friend seemed like he dying in the next room, with each doctor fighting to do what they could to save him, and the dying friend's brother sat right next to him, and he was sobbing. Shoulders shaking, breath gasping, sobbing. Hiromi had been texting a cute girl and being annoyed that someone wasn't getting his nose fixed sooner and now someone he knew personally, someone who he had been telling he fucking hated just hours before, was dying in the next room.

Akiteru was so busy crying, he hadn't even noticed Hiromi.

He wondered if he should talk to him.

"Uh, hey, Akiteru," he spoke nervously, and waved at him, "Its uh, Hiromi."

Akiteru quickly looked up at the sound of his voice, and before Hiromi knew what was happening, Akiteru was grabbing the front of his shirt, and yelling at him, "What the hell did you do to him?"

Hiromi was startled by this, and before he could respond Akiteru continued yelling.

"Kei stabbed himself Hiromi, he fucking stabbed himself! I came home to pay him and mom a surprise visit, and I find him on the bathroom floor, bleeding out. What the hell did you do to him?!"

As Akiteru yelled, Hiromi felt tears starting to drip down his face for the second time that day, and as he watched the doctor who had been consoling him earlier pull Akiteru away, he started mumbling his apologies.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry Akiteru," he repeated the words over and over, as if it would make it better, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

He couldn't seem to stop saying it.

I'm sorry.

But all the being sorry in the world wasn't going to undo what he did.

He was sorry anyways.

* * *

When Tsukishima woke up, it was to a throbbing pain in his stomach, and a rhythmic beeping in the background.

It was dark in the room he was in, lit dimly by only a lamp.

The last thing that he remembered was sitting in the bathroom, almost positive he was home alone, when he heard the door open, and Akiteru's voice announcing his arrival.

Speaking of Akiteru, he was sitting at Tsukishima's bedside, head resting on the bed, grasping Tsukishima's hand tightly.

His shoulders rose and fell gently, rhythmically. Like the beeping of the heart monitor in the background.

There was a needle in his arm, and he realized he was wearing a hospital gown now, instead of the battered old t-shirt that had eventually ended up glued to his torso with blood, the original color of the fabric completely gone.

A slightly scratchy blanket covered his legs, and the bed was less than comfortable.

As he went to move his arm that did have the hand Akiteru was holding onto with a death grip, it felt heavy. Really heavy. He supposed that was usually what happened when you came close to bleeding out on a bathroom floor.

He gently shook his older brother's shoulder, not sure he could muster the energy to do much more than that.

"Teru."

His voice was weak, and came out quieter than he was expecting.

"I wanna go home Teru."

This time when he spoke Akiteru's head shot up, and his face broke into a grin wider than Tsukishima would have thought humanly possible.

"Oh god, oh my god, Kei, you're okay, thank god."

He dove forward and wrapped his arms around Tsukishima, holding him just a little too tightly, and Tsukishima could feel the pressure in his stomach, which he assumed was a stitched up mess.

"Ow, ow, Teru!" He shoved Akiteru away gently, "Stitches!"

Akiteru quickly pulled back, and apologized profusely, "Crap! I'm sorry!"

Tsukishima chuckled gently, for once, his brother's volume wasn't annoying.

"Wait, shit!" Akiteru stood up quickly, "I'm supposed to tell the doctors that you woke up, be right back Kei!"

Tsukishima watched as his brother rushed out of the room, and he was really happy that his brother had decided to make that day the day he stopped by for a surprise visit.

If not, he probably would have died in that bathroom.

And he was honestly grateful he hadn't.

* * *

It was actually a surprisingly short time before he was allowed to be discharged from the hospital. A few days of twenty-four hour suicide watch, and a few tests to make sure he was healing properly, and then he was back at school.

He had actually only missed two days, so if it hadn't been for the ease that rumors spread around, it would have just seemed he had been sick.

But instead, people whispered.

He heard them whisper about him, they stopped when he walked into the room, but they whispered.

People stared as he stood at the teacher's desk before class, quietly explaining the situation. He had been expecting the stares and whispers, but it didn't mean he liked it.

What he hadn't been expecting however, was Hiromi stopping him in the halls. He had a huge ugly bandage over his nose from where Tsukishima had broken it, and it made his voice come out weird.

"You weren't lying, were you?"

He turned around at the sound of Hiromi's voice, and glared down at him, "Well people don't usually try and kill themselves over made up stories, so what do you think?"

"I... I was in the ER that night," Hiromi sounded legitimately apologetic, "I watched as they rushed you into that room, and I watched your brother break down. I just wanted to say... I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for everything."

Tsukishima scoffed. He was really apologizing, after the hell he put Tsukishima through. Like apologizing could undo the mess Hiromi had made, like apologizing could erase the scars, could make the mess of stitches in his stomach disappear.

"You really think you can just say you're sorry and we'll be on our merry way?"

"No, uh, not really..." Hiromi looked down at the ground, then back up at Tsukishima, "But if there's anything I can do to make it right, I want to do it."

"Well you could start with leaving me the hell alone," Tsukishima stepped closer to Hiromi, reached his arms out, and pushed him down to the ground, hard.

He felt something pull on the skin in stomach, and then when the pressure was relieved, and a few moments later he heard shocked gasps from the people around him.

"Kei are you alright?" Hiromi had jumped up almost immediately, "You're bleeding, a lot."

Tsukishima looked down at his stomach, and sure enough, there was a huge red spot blossoming on his shirt. He had torn some of the stitches in his stomach, the one thing he had been told to be careful of. He reached down with his hands to cover it, applying pressure to attempt to slow the bleeding, "I said leave me alone Hiromi, fuck off!"

He clenched his jaw as he bent over slightly, the pain too much for him to bear, and he could feel his heartbeat over the cut, blood pumping out steadily.

"Shit, I've gotta go call Teru..."

Things started fading to black, just as they had in the bathroom that night, and he felt a few pairs of hands catch him while voices yelled for someone to call 9-1-1 and to get a teacher.

Then it was all gone.

The next thing Tsukishima knew, he was in an ambulance, with someone's hands pressing down hard on his stomach, stopping the bleeding.

There was a hand holding tightly onto his, and he didn't want to look over, because he knew who it was, but he didn't want it to be him.

"Kei."

Tsukishima pulled his hand from Hiromi's, and turned his head away from him, "Why are you here? I don't want you here. I stopped wanting you here months ago."

He heard Hiromi sigh, and though Tsukishima couldn't see his face he was sure he was frowning, "Because I don't want to be responsible for someone's life ending, especially not yours."

"Well you should have thought of that before you told me to die, multiple times."

Tsukishima was getting angry, and he looked back over at Hiromi. He wanted to see him miserable.

"You should have considered that my life would be on your conscience before you told me you hated me, before you attacked me, before you made me want to die in the first place!"

"Kei, please calm down," he felt the paramedic pressing down on his stomach place a gentle hand on his chest, "You'll bleed faster if you're agitated."

Realizing this, Tsukishima quickly tried to slow his breathing back down, and he looked to the paramedic as he spoke, "Sorry."

"Don't be," she smiled, and went back to using both hands to press down on Tsukishima's bleeding stomach.

"Just, when we get to the hospital," before he said the next part, he looked back at Hiromi, and glared at him, "Can you make sure he's not anywhere near me?"

She nodded in response, and smiled gently, "Of course, I'll make sure for you. Just try to relax, we'll fix up your stomach."

After they got to the hospital and Hiromi was sent to the waiting room to wait for his mom to pick him up, Tsukishima wasn't really sure what happened to Hiromi. Tsukishima couldn't go to practice due to the trauma, and Hiromi was in a different class, so he didn't see him except for when he passed him in the halls and tried to pretend he didn't exist.

They graduated barely weeks later, and went off to separate high schools.

Tsukishima wasn't sad to see him go, and he was ready to move on. Part of moving on included a suggestion from Akiteru, something he had seen online. It was some sort of suicide prevention project, a tattoo.

It was a semicolon, right at the end of the scar of the cut where the stitches had torn. Akiteru said that it signified something that could have been ended, but didn't, because the author chose to continue on. It made sense to Tsukishima, he kind of liked it.

He had no idea how good for him it was to continue on and not end the sentence that was his life until he met a boy in a flower shop after his first year of high school with a similar tattoo, who was just as messed up as Tsukishima, who helped finally erase all of what Hiromi had done to him, and allowed him to really love, and be loved, for the first time.

* * *

 **A/N: There it is, Tsukki's backstory! This is something I've been wanting to write out for a while, mostly because I wanted to make some more sense of exactly what happened to him that put him in such a bad place that he'd hurt himself as much as he did. It is a little different from what's originally written, but it didn't make much sense to me for why he was in such a bad place. So I upped the severity a bit. I may do a similar thing for Yamaguchi, but his issues run much much deeper than simply betrayal from a close friend, so I'll have to see.**

 **But for now, hope you enjoyed another taste of this au that I still can't seem to let go of, even three months later.**

 **~Niki**


	4. And So They Meet Again

"K-Kei?"

Tsukishima was standing with his back to the net giving instruction to one of the first years who was on the court with them when he heard that voice.

He hadn't heard that voice since middle school.

He hadn't wanted to hear that voice ever again, and he had managed to avoid it throughout all of high school.

And most of the match, it was the second set and they were about to win the match.

He had hoped that it was just his mind playing tricks on him, but of course, it wasn't.

When he turned around he was met with the sight of the one person he never wanted to see again.

Hiromi still looked like the exact same person he had in middle school. His dark black hair was still styled in something that resembled something of a bowl cut. His face was a little less round, and his eyes a little less angry, but he was pretty much the same.

He felt his heart drop to his stomach as he looked at Hiromi.

"Hiromi," was all Tsukishima said. It was all he had time to say, because the referee blew the whistle moments later and the volley started with Yamaguchi slamming a serve over to the other side.

For the rest of the match, which they were completely obliterating the other team in, Tsukishima was forced to look at Hiromi's face every time he glanced over.

Whenever he went to block a spike, it felt like it was always him he was face to face with.

It was starting to really bother him, Hiromi being there.

Thankfully the match was over before it could really start affecting him.

He needed to clear his head, badly. He wasn't even sure of what he was feeling yet.

Tsukishima hadn't seen Hiromi in three years. He hadn't thought about him for just as long.

He dismissed himself to the bathroom as they walked out of the gym, and before he knew it he was breaking into a run down the hall to find the goddamn bathroom.

He just needed to be alone for a few minutes, sort out his thoughts.

Minutes later Tsukishima finally came across one, and since they hallways around it were empty, he figured the bathroom too would be.

Thankfully, he was right, and the bathroom was deserted.

He took a shaky deep breath as he turned to face one of the mirrors, planting his palms firmly on the edge of the sink.

Sort out the facts.

That was one of many coping mechanisms he had picked up over the years. Whenever anything got overwhelming, he could always rely on the facts.

First off, Hiromi was there. Tsukishima hadn't seen him in three years. It made him angry that Hiromi was there. He was scared too, because not only had Hiromi been a complete dick to him Tsukishima was also way in the wrong (not that Hiromi wasn't either) and now if Hiromi confronted him, which was highly likely he was going to have to admit he was wrong probably in front of Yamaguchi and Yamaguchi was gonna realize that he was terrible and—

Tsukishima quickly stopped himself, when he let the anxious 'what-ifs' crowd his head it only made things worse.

His hands ached as he clung to the edge of the sink, his knuckles turning white.

Tsukishima's breath shook as he attempted to get his emotions under control.

If Hiromi confronted him, he'd deal with it calmly. It would go bad if he didn't.

With a solid plan in place, and his emotions locked in, Tsukishima was ready to go back out. He just had to keep them that way.

This proved to be harder than he expected as he made his way back through the hall and back into the lobby, when he saw Yamaguchi standing with Hiromi.

They were talking, and it took a lot of control on Tsukishima's part to stay calm like he had planned, "Hiromi, I'd appreciate it if you stayed the fuck away from my boyfriend."

Nobody said that he had to keep his filter on to be considered calm.

Surprisingly respectfully, Hiromi stepped away, and Yamaguchi gave Tsukishima a puzzled look, "Kei, what?"

Tsukishima shook his head, "I'll explain it to you later Tadashi, promise. I'll catch up in a minute, go on and sit in the stands with everyone else."

Reluctantly, Yamaguchi nodded and walked away, leaving Tsukishima alone with Hiromi.

"H-hey, Kei," Hiromi stuttered as he spoke, and he twisted a rainbow colored bracelet around his wrist as he spoke.

Tsukishima hadn't noticed it during the match earlier, he had probably put it back on after.

"Hiromi."

It took all of his effort to keep his tone level.

"I-I wasn't going to p-purposefully s-seek you out t-to talk ever," he continued to speak with the stutter, "B-but I saw you t-today and I wanted to apologize. I f-feel really guilty still. I-I was terrible."

 _So was I,_ Tsukishima thought to himself. There were scars on Hiromi's wrists. They were old enough to very easily have been because of Tsukishima. There was also a huge jagged scar across his throat. Almost identical to Yamaguchi's.

He nodded, and decided to not voice his thoughts, "You really were. Probably should have apologized three years ago."

"I-I did," Hiromi continued, "At least I t-tried to."

Tsukishima had hoped to get through this without having to admit his wrongs as well, but he supposed that was an unrealistic expectation.

"Yea, I guess I fucked up too," he shrugged and glanced towards the ground.

"I-it was r-really only because of m-me," Hiromi admitted, angling his gaze to the floor, and then changed the subject, "Y-your boyfriend is n-nice, he seems l-like he's good for y-you. B-better than I'd b-be."

Tsukishima nodded. Yamaguchi was way better than Hiromi would ever be, "Yea, he doesn't really make me wanna kill myself like you did, so anything really would be better than that."

Hiromi glared at him, which Tsukishima supposed was an appropriate reaction, "W-well I w-was scared a-and confused. I-I needed s-someone to b-blame, a-and you were c-convenient."

"Well I'm sure you know so much about your best friend betraying you," Tsukishima returned the glare, "And what's with the stutter? Seriously, you can't be that nervous."

"P-psychog-genic stutter," Hiromi stated simply, "It h-happens w-when—"

"Yea, traumatic event, I've taken a psych class before," Tsukishima interrupted him, he didn't need the explanation.

"Y-Yea," Hiromi nodded, "M-my dad nearly k-killed me w-when I c-came out. L-lot's of jail t-time and a r-restraining order for him, a s-stutter and y-years of th-therapy for m-me."

"And you're telling me your entire life story because...?" Tsukishima trailed off at the end of the question, leaving it open for Hiromi to respond. He really didn't need to feel guilty for hating the kid with an abusive dad.

"B-because you asked, th-that's why," Hiromi responded simply, "But l-like I said e-earlier, I just w-wanted t-to apologize f-for m-middle school."

"Well now that your conscience is clear are you gonna leave?" Tsukishima glared at him, "I'd rather not be around you for much longer."

Hiromi returned the glare quickly, "You're n-not the only o-one to have e-ever w-wanted to die K-Kei."

Tsukishima sighed, "Well the difference from me to you in this situation is that the person who made me want to die is standing right in front of me, and yours I'm guessing is not."

Hiromi scowled in his direction, and Tsukishima continued, "Look, there's no hard feelings from middle school, alright? I'm fine now. We can just go on and live our lives from here."

Hiromi nodded, "Y-Yea. I'm g-good w-with that."

Tsukishima was about to say something, but he was interrupted when an inhumanly tall guy in a similar uniform to Hiromi's walked up, "Hey Hiromi, the buses are outside."

He recognized him from the match, he almost reminded him of the two meter tall guy from his first year. He was probably about as tall, if not taller. Hiromi turned to him, and nodded, "Alright, thanks Kaoru."

He turned back to Tsukishima momentarily, "Good luck for the future I guess."

Tsukishima nodded, and returned the sentiment, "Yea. You too."

Hiromi turned around without responding, and as he walked away, falling into step with the taller boy despite the fact that his strides were much longer, and reached for his hand, Tsukishima found himself running through more what-ifs in his head.

What if he had let Hiromi back into his life when he had first apologized, what if they had begun dating, what if, what if what, if.

But all those what-if's were quickly squashed when Yamaguchi came up from behind him and gently put a hand on his shoulder. Tsukishima jumped slightly, and turned around to face Yamaguchi, "What's up Tadashi?"

Yamaguchi responded by stepping forward and resting his hands on Tsukishima's hips, "I just wanted to make sure you were alright, you were taking a while."

Tsukshima smiled and rested his hands gently on either side of Yamaguchi's face, "Yea. I'm fine."

 **A/N: I felt the urge to write a second meeting/goodbye between Hiromi and Tsukishima a while back, and I only just finished it. It's a little all over the place and not that great, but I haven't uploaded anything in a while oof. I also accidentally made Hiromi into someone completely human and gave him a backstory/perfectly reasonable reasons for why he did what he did and made him likable. Which is kinda sad in its own way, because even though Hiromi's the villain of Tsukishima's story he's not a terrible person. But yea, I've been rambling on for a while. Hope you guy like this one, though it's rushed.**

 **~Niki**


	5. Would It Really Be So Bad To Tell Tem?

Tsukishima was sitting on the edge of the pier next to Yamaguchi, barefoot with his shoes and socks sitting next to him. His toes just barely touched the cold water, and he had his hands pulled into his jacket sleeves just a bit for the extra warmth. The rest of the team was there with them, the third years back for a quick weekend trip.

The late September breeze blew over the water, sending a chill down his spine.

Hinata, Kageyama, Tanaka, and Nishinoya were all jumping off the pier into the water in their normal screaming and idiotic fashion while Asahi worried incessantly about them all getting hypothermia and Daichi and Suga disappeared off to who knows where.

It made him cold just thinking about jumping in the lake, and as he was distracted by that thought he heard wet feet running across the concrete surface of the pier and a pair of hands on his shoulders pushing him into the water before he could react to it and brace himself.

In moments his head was under the freezing water, and he quickly resurfaced, coughing and spluttering. The culprit made himself known moments later as Nishinoya cannon-balled into the water next to him, yelling obnoxiously and splashing more water into Tsukishima's face on impact.

Tsukishima shook his head to dislodge some of the water from his hair, and quickly pushed his now mostly useless, water covered glasses onto his forehead.

Nishinoya quickly burst into laughter at Tsukishima's angry and soaking wet state, "Oh my god, he's so mad!"

Tsukishima quickly went to yell at him, "Nishinoya you a—"

He quickly realized that there were probably kids near enough to hear him call Nishinoya an ass, and he didn't want angry parents on his case, so he corrected himself, "Absolute bastard!"

Ok so maybe he could've done better with the censorship.

He quickly grabbed Yamaguchi's outstretched hand and climbed out of the water back onto the pier.

He was giggling, trying to hold it back, but he wasn't exactly successful, "You— you alright Kei?"

Tsukishima quickly abandoned his jacket, shrugging it off and dropping it behind him on the concrete, "I would be if I weren't freezing my ass off."

He set his glasses in one of his shoes and quickly ran his fingers through his hair, trying to get more of the water out.

Nishinoya quickly pushed himself up out of the water and onto the pier, shaking his head like a dog and grinning like a madman, "Haha, sorry Tsukki!"

He scowled at him momentarily before turning back to Yamaguchi who was offering his jacket to Tsukishima, "Here, take off your shirt and wear my jacket. You'll freeze to death if you keep your wet shirt on."

Tsukishima was so cold he didn't even think twice about pulling his shirt over his head and dropping it on the pier next to him. He had barely thought twice about the scars that covered his upper body since that day he had told Yamaguchi about them.

By the time he remembered, it was a hell of a lot too late. Nishinoya was already calling attention to them.

"Whoa, Tsukishima, are you alright?"

He quickly grabbed Yamaguchi's jacket and pulled it on, zipping it up to hide the scars as fast as possible, "Yea, I'm fine. Just cold."

"No, no," Nishinoya shook his head and sat down next to Tsukishima, lowering his voice slightly. At least he seemed to know when to be quiet when it mattered, nobody else had noticed the scars, "I meant the scars. They're every-fucking-where."

He wrapped his arms around himself and nodded dismissively, "They're old. I'm fine."

The scars _were_ old, and most of them were faded, so he hoped that Nishinoya actually believed him.

Thankfully, that seemed to be the case, and Nishinoya stood back up, "Alright, but if you ever want to talk to me feel free to."

Tsukishima nodded in response. There wasn't any way that he'd go to Nishinoya for help with his sort of issues, but the offer was nice, "Yea, alright. Thanks."

Nishinoya nodded, and moments later he was back to his normal self, yelling and shoving Hinata and Kageyama off the pier as well.

Tsukishima fell silent after this, staring at his knees. His mind felt blank all of a sudden.

Yamaguchi picked up on this, and he moved even closer almost instantly, close enough that their knees were brushing and their thighs pressed together.

"You alright Kei?"

This pulled Tsukishima back to reality, and he shrugged passively wrapping his arms tighter around himself, "Yea. I'm good, probably."

Yamaguchi instantly responded to this, and Tsukishima regretted tacking the probably onto the end of his sentence.

"I don't think I like the probably part of that," Yamaguchi reached over to rest his hand on top of one of Tsukishima's.

Tsukishima simply laughed and entangled his fingers with Yamaguchi's, "I'm fine, you sound like my mom Jesus."

In response, Yamaguchi squeezed Tsukishima's hand, "If I were your mom I'd be telling you to get out of my house and not to come back."

Tsukishima found himself laughing gently at this, and Yamaguchi continued, "Come on, let's go find pebbles to pelt the idiots with."

Tsukishima grinned, knowing that going to find pebbles probably really meant "let's go somewhere else so we can be alone and I can kiss you" and pushed himself to his feet, pulling Yamaguchi up with him gently.

They managed to slip away quite easily, stumbling across Daichi and Suga by accident, but as they found a spot behind the changing rooms and Yamaguchi pressed his lips to Tsukishima's he was able to relax.

It didn't take long for him to forget about Nishinoya's new knowledge of his scars, and just enjoy being with his boyfriend.

* * *

Months passed, and there was no mention of his scars by Nishinoya.

Then on another of the graduated third year's visits near the beginning of December, Tsukishima found himself being dragged to the pool.

He had always hated indoor pools, they were hot and humid and a pain in the ass to be wearing a t-shirt in.

But of course going shirtless wasn't an option, unless he wanted to deal with the questions. Then again, with how Nishinoya reacted maybe it wouldn't be that bad. The scars were faded anyways.

If he were telling himself the truth, he was fine with the rest of the upperclassmen and the other second years knowing. But he didn't know the first years well enough to really feel comfortable with them knowing.

But when he looked over at Nishinoya he saw him giving him an expectant look.

He wasn't sure how it had come to be like that, Nishinoya knowing his secret. He would've thought it would have been Suga, or maybe Daichi.

But instead it was the ball of spastic energy that was Nishinoya.

He figured, if Nishinoya knew, it didn't really matter if everyone else did. Nishinoya was the person he least wanted to know anyways.

There was really no point to hiding it anymore. It was like Yamaguchi had said when he first found out, maybe he should just stop caring about it. That would certainly be easier.

 _Ah, fuck it._ He thinks to himself, and he pulls his shirt over his head.

The first reaction is from Suga, teasing him before noticing the scars, "Ohoho, showing off for Yamaguchi huh?"

Then his teasing expression faded into surprise.

"Oh," was all he said. Then, "You alright?"

By now the rest of the team had noticed as well, and they had allowed Suga to ask the question for them. Tsukishima was happy about that, it meant , "They're old, nothing to worry about."

Suga simply nodded, and they all seemed to go back to their chatting to delay jumping into the icy cold pool.

He felt Yamaguchi's hand on his shoulder, and he turned around to see his boyfriend grinning at him, his own shirt discarded on the bench.

Yamaguchi had his own issues with being self conscious of his scars. They weren't only on his wrists after all, he had just as many in the spots Tsukishima did.

"I'm proud of you Kei."

He felt his face grow red at his comment, and then a thought popped into his head.

He gave Yamaguchi a devilish grin, and Yamaguchi quickly returned a more nervous version of it, "Oh no, what are you planning."

"Oh, nothing," Tsukishima said simply as he spun Yamaguchi around and held him close to his chest as he quickly stepped back and threw himself backwards into the pool with his arms still tightly around Yamaguchi.

The water was freezing, and he heard Yamaguchi screeching as his head dipped below the surface of the water.

Too late he realized that he had forgotten to take his glasses off, and he resurfaced, laughing, as Yamaguchi spluttered and shoved his now soaking wet hair out of his face, "Kei!"

Tsukishima ran his fingers quickly through his own shaggy bangs, pulling his glasses off and tossing them onto one of the chairs where they had set their stuff, and wrapped an arm around one of Yamaguchi's shoulders as he began to tread water.

With a snarky grin, he waved to the rest of the guys still lingering on the pool deck, "You guys better come get in here before I pull you in, it's freezing and I wanna get a game of volleyball started before I die from hypothermia."

This seemed to break some of the tension, and almost all at once the rest of the team was diving into the pool.

It took a surprising amount of time to get teams split up, and then more yet to figure out how the hell pool volleyball was supposed to work, but once it got going everything else seemed to fade away.

Tsukishima even eventually almost forgot about the fact all his scars were on full display.

 **A/N: And now here's some of the team finding out about Tsukishima's scars! This one is also a little rushed, but again, I feel bad for having not uploaded anything in a while rip. I promise I'm working on things though, just a lot of them. I'm in the middle of some random IwaOi stuff that really doesn't have a plot at all, a TsukiYama coffee shop au ft Yamguchi's crippling homosexuality, a fantasy au with yams and tsukki, and an au where kags gets hit in the face with a volleyball a few too many times during his time on the Olympic team and he goes blind. But for now, this is all I've got. I'll hopefully be back with _something_ soon.**


	6. Haikus

**A/N: We're starting haikus soon in creative writing, and I decided to try and write a bunch of hem about some of my stories. Most only have one or two, but the flower shop au is just so huge I couldn't cover it all in just one. So have a bunch of lil random haikus about the flowershop au!**

 **Part of Hiromi's story (after Tsukishima leaves)**

There's blood everywhere.

In the kitchen, on the tile

What do I do now?

* * *

 **The final scene of the main story/the whole idea of it in general**

Busted and broken

You and me together now

We can make it through

* * *

 **When Tsukishima sees Hiromi again in his third year**

I greatly despise you

You've been through suffering too

Not sure how to feel

* * *

 **Tsukishima's breakdown in Yachi's kitchen**

Glass is on the floor

There are tears and my voice doesn't work

God, what do I do?

* * *

 **Then the very very beginning**

Bright purple flowers

With a nice ribbon too

She still won't love me

* * *

 **Just, poor Yamaguchi**

"Try again," they tell me

You'd be better off being dead

Better luck next time


	7. -less -les

**A/N: Quick explanation before I start this off, just so it makes a bit more sense. I wrote this from Yamaguchi's point of view, and its essentially his backstory down to the barest minimum. There will be a brief summary of his past at the end, but part of what I like so much about this is how vague it is. If you want to know what's going on right away, just scroll down to the bottom for the explanation.**

 **-less**

 _Origin: Middle English [-les]_

Less is an interesting combination of letters

Otherwise known as a word

It can stand alone

 _Less [les]_

 **Adverb**

1\. to a smaller extent, amount, or degree _(less intelligent)_

2\. most certainly not _(barely enough motivation for this, much less enough for that)_

3\. in a way different; other _(nothing less than unmotivated and uncaring)_

 **Adjective**

4\. smaller in size, amount, degree, etc.; not so large, great, or much _(less accuracy, less strength)_

5\. lower in consideration, rank, or importance _(no less than top of the class)_

6\. fewer _(less than ninety is absolutely unacceptable)_

 **Noun**

7\. a smaller amount or quantity _(many try, less succeed)_

8\. something inferior or not as important _(focus on that less)_

 **Preposition**

9\. minus; without _(many years less of experience)_

Or it can be used as a suffix

Tacked on the end of a noun

Like the word worthless

 _Worthless [wurth-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. without worth; of no use, importance, or value; good-for-nothing _(why do I feel so worthless?)_

Useless works fairly well too

 _Useless [yoos-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. of no use; not serving a purpose; unavailing or futile _(it is useless to attempt to reason with him)_

2\. without useful qualities; of no practical good _(I am useless)_

Helpless

 _Helpless [help-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. unable to help oneself; weak or dependent _(I'm drowning, helpless)_

2\. deprived of strength of power; powerless; incapacitated _(can't breathe, I'm helpless)_

3\. affording no help

Endless

 _Endless [end-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. having or seeming to have no end, limit, or conclusion; boundless; infinite; interminable; incessant _(I suffer endlessly; the tortue feels endless)_

2\. made continuous, as by joining the two ends of a single length _(the blood flows in an endless stream; the euphoria feels as if it is endless)_

Nevertheless

 _Nevertheless [nev-er-thuh-les]_

 **Adverb**

1\. Nonetheless; notwithstanding; however; in spite of that _(it hurts but I keep doing it nevertheless; nevertheless, the relief is worth it)_

Painless

 _Painless [peyn-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. without pain; causing little or no pain _(suicide is painless; I was told it would be painless)_

2\. [informal] not difficult; requiring little to no hard work or exertion

Bloodless

 _Bloodless [bluhd-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. without blood _(the bathroom floor was far from bloodless)_

2\. very pale _(I heard the paramedics describe my complexion as bloodless)_

3\. free from bloodshed; accomplished without bloodshed _(I wish I could say it was done bloodlessly)_

Motherless

 _Motherless [muhth-er-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. to be without a mother _(I am motherless; I have always been motherless)_

Fatherless

 _Fatherless [fah-th er-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. lacking a father; to have no father figure _(for now, I am fatherless, they won't let him see me)_

Loveless

 _Loveless [luhv-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. without any love _(a loveless parent)_

2\. feeling no love

3\. receiving no love; unloved _(I have always been loveless)_

Motherless

 _Motherless [muhth-er-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. to be without a mother _(I am now officially motherless)_

Directionless

 _Directionless [dih-rek-shu n-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. lacking direction _(I'm unmotivated and directionless, just like she always said)_

2\. to be without a clear goal _(without her pushing me I'm directionless)_

Meaningless

 _Meaningless [mee-ning-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. without meaning, significance, purpose, or value; purposeless; insignificant _(I thought her being gone would help, but everything still feels meaningless)_

Relentless

 _Relentless [ri-lent-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. that does not relent; unyieldingly severe, strict, or harsh; unrelenting _(I started talking to a therapist, he described my symptoms as a 'relentless enemy that I must defeat', I think that's going to help)_

Shameless

 _Shameless [sheym-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. lacking any sense of shame; immodest; audacious _(I started wearing short sleeves again and taking my meds — I am shameless)_

2\. insensible to disgrace _(it's best to be shameless sometimes, bear your imperfections with pride)_

3\. showing no shame

Useless

 _Useless [yoos-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. of no use; not serving a purpose; unavailing or futile _(bottling it up was useless)_

2\. without useful qualities; of no practical good _(My dad has helped me learn that I am no longer useless)_

Helpless

 _Helpless [help-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. unable to help oneself; weak or dependent _(I have learned how to help myself when no one else will, I am no longer helpless)_

2\. deprived of strength of power; powerless; incapacitated _(helpless no longer, I am strong)_

3\. affording no help

Loveless

 _Loveless [luhv-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. without any love _(I found someone who loves me, I'm no longer loveless)_

2\. feeling no love

3\. receiving no love; unloved _(I have never been loveless)_

Flawless

 _Flawless [flaw-lis]_

 **Adjective**

1\. having no defects or faults, especially none that diminish the value of something _(nobody is flawless)_

2\. having no discernable blemishes or shortcomings; perfect _(to be flawless is inhuman)_

 _Less [les]_

 **Adverb**

1\. to a smaller extent, amount, or degree _(less pain)_

2\. most certainly not _(I could barely love myself, much less another person)_

3\. in a way different; other _(Nothing less than perfect is an unrealistic expectation, it's okay to be average sometimes)_

 **Adjective**

4\. smaller in size, amount, degree, etc.; not so large, great, or much _(less struggling; less feeling like I'm not enough)_

5\. lower in consideration, rank, or importance _(my mother was no less than an evil, manipulative person)_

6\. fewer _(sometimes I feel as if trying my best is still less than others)_

 **Noun**

7\. a smaller amount or quantity _(many try, less succeed, and I will succeed)_

8\. something inferior or not as important _(focus on the feelings less, the logic more)_

 **Preposition**

9\. minus; without _(my life is much less terrible with you in it)_

Thank you.

 _Thank-you [thangk-yoo]_

 **Noun**

1\. an expression of thanks _(you deserve so much more than a thank-you, but this is all I have to give for now)_

 **A/N: Now, as promised the brief explanation. At its core, Yamaguchi's issues are all rooted in his fear of failure and his mother's verbally abusive tendencies. She always put so much pressure on Yamaguchi to do well in school and told him that 'his grades were terrible' and 'he'd never make it anywhere with grades like that' even though his marks were all well above the cutoff for an A. She constantly told him about how he wasn't good enough to make it anywhere with volleyball so he should just drop it. Eventually the stress became too much, and he snapped, attempting suicide. After this he was hospitalized for a while, and wasn't allowed to see his parents so social services could more easily find the cause of his suicide attempt. They eventually came to the conclusion that it was the fault of Yamaguchi's mother's verbal abuse, and she lost custody. After this, things don't get better right away. Yamaguchi was prescribed meds, but doesn't take due to a sense of shame about the depression and anxiety. Eventually he starts seeing a therapist, who helps him see everything in a new light. Then his dad lets him take over the store, and everything else from there should be kind of in the main story!**


End file.
